The Good Life

 Woke up to see the approval of a 14-day paternity leave and it gladdened my heart. Might look so simple but to those parents who just had a baby and is trying to adjust to the new family status this is a mighty good news. I recall hubby sleeping off while driving several times as occasioned by the sleep deprivation suffered from being awake for most part of the night to tend to our babies those first three months of their lives. He'd do all the running around to get what would be needing at home and then zoom off to work, to return and join in nursing the babies. The fact that hubby is such a crazy workaholic didn't even help. Under the sun or in the rain, public holiday or sit-at-home, he'd always find a way to go to the office. Now that the Almighty has made this provision, hmmmmm I'm sipping hot tea and making some considerations. I know I said we were done oh but errrrrrmmmmm is anybody thinking what I'm thinking? Three more kids don't seem like

Baby stop stop stop!!!  Hubby immediately slammed the brakes given to how loud I screamed as though my life depended on it. 'What is it, are you okay?' he asked 'Ok? Didn't you see that woman carrying abacha? Abeg turn sharp sharp before she goes far or better still just run and meet her' I said I was in my second trimester and abacha was the craving for the day. It didn't matter if we had to stop on a very busy highway or cross seven mountains. The baby wanted abacha and hubby was duty bound to get it. I always prided myself as a person who was careful of what and where I ate until pregnancy happened and my Baby girl status flew out the window   One faithful day after making our purchases, I discovered a restaurant in the market, to hubby's horror My joy could only be best described like that of the Israelites when manna rained from heaven To say I began frequenting the restaurant won't quite cut it. I practically went there everyday to eat

'You don't mean it! So what story will you have to tell when women are talking about their experience?' My friend's mother asked, giving me a very weird look. I had gone to pay a visit to a friend who just gave birth and as expected some of our gists centred on her birth process and it's accompanying drama. Of course I had a good laugh while thanking God mother and child were fine. Pregnancy had always been a mind-disturbing matter for me from childhood I loved kids but have never looked forward to the process of their delivery with respect to labour and everything in between. I just didn't like or have the heart to try it. I was so happy upon meeting hubby and he was of the same opinion so we argreed on elective CS even before the kids showed up Sharing my CS story with my friend got her mum riled up and she went into a long charge of being 'the typical Hebrew woman', her perceived merits of going through labour and on she went to share her

Born on an isolated farm, out of wedlock to parents who sepetated after her birth She was immediately left in the care of her maternal grandmother, sexually abused at 9, ran away from home at 13, got pregnant at 14, became a Beauty Queen at 17, abused drugs in her 20s Oprah Winfrey became the first black American woman on National T.V in America, one of the wealthiest women in America today and the highest paid entertainer in the world. Colonel Sanders was nothing but a retiree with a chicken recipe. He slept and drove around in his car, knocking on every door possible just to sell his recipe. He was rejected 1009 times until one person said yes and that birthed the million dollar empire KFC   How about Thomas Edison? He failed 10000 in his quest to invent the light bulb. Imagine what our world would be like if he had called it quits. How long have you been trying to break even? How hard have you tried? Spent all your resources and time only to have everything go down the d

I'm writing from a place of deep pains because it seems I've lost a very dear friend in this age and time when genuine friendship is hard to find It had always been such a true, supportive and love filled relationship My friend was always there for me anytime I called Raising me up whenever I was down Never cared about my race, weight or financial status To think I've known her for so many years Our bond was so strong I named my friend Faithfulness because that was the best way to describe who she was Hubby got so jealous and tried several times to severe our relationship but we bounced back even stronger each time He didn't understand that what we shared was special He couldn't understand why out of everyone I chose her My friend was a perfect fit for me If I were to count people I could rely on I would count my her twice Many friends had come and gone but this one stood the test of time You see, we just happened upon each other in no particularly drama

' I don suffer no be small Upon say I get sense Poverty no good at all oh Na him make I join this business'... I sang along Nkem Owoh in my mind as I passionately devoured the feast in front of me See ehhh my people this life is sweet!!! That faithful Saturday in Bayelsa State, after a gruesome week of been battered with endless cramming of sections and Latin Maxims, as well as lectures and countless assignments, my friend and I decided to give ourselves a treat by going to swim for  a few hours to unwind from Law School palava It would be my first time swimming so we headed to the market, got me a swimsuit and we were good to go. My friend was tired. This was the third hotel we were going to and the poolside was used as the reception venue so automatically our swimming for that day was threatened to end before it even started.  However on our way back to school I succeeded in convincing him to give it one more trial and that's how we found ourselves in this Gra

Hubby slowed down and proceeded to park upon request by the road safety officer We were used to this routine as their check point was positioned close to our place of residence Officer: Sir your driver's licence Hubby presented it Officer: Your papers,  Come down where's your fire extinguisher, C-caution, jack.... It was obvious the officer was becoming frustrated by the minute as hubby was a strong believer in keeping everything with relations to the car up to date. Officer: Ehen oga your spare tyre is under inflated  Hubby: Really, didn't notice, I'd just pump it down the road then Obviously not the reply he was expecting as the usual practice would be parting with some currencies to placate him. The officer became incensed and gradually it metamorphosised into threats  Officer: I will book you and there's nothing you can do about it Hubby: Alright, just show me where it's stated that I can be booked for having an under inflated spare tyre Officer:

....the plaintiff is hereby awarded the sum of 20million as damages for.... Kris fainted You see, Kris was the full package Tall, dark and handsome Even his account balanced He'd always brag to his friends that he could get any lady It simply came with the territory as per fine Bobo The lounge was beautifully decorated Close friends were seated while they were serenaded with cool love songs Jenny bursted into tears as she walked into the lounge to find Kris on bended knees with the most sparkling ring ever The most beautiful surprise engagement Every woman's dream!!! On a sweet sunny day in October he went in company of friends and some family members for introduction and was given the marriage list Unbeknownst to Jenny, Kris was already married with kids in another state All hell broke loose when Kris called it quits 4 years later as his family were finally relocating to join him  'I gave him four years of my life, went through alot for him, gave up my savings,

Our helper oh Our helper Our helper oh Our helper.... The women chanted as FFK drove into his home upon arrival from Abuja where he paid the President a visit and defected from PDP to APC. Hence his earlier description comes to mind, that APC was 'not  a political party but a satanic lodge of devil-worshippers and a cult of death. They bring nothing but death, decay and destruction' and he further stated that he'd rather die than join the APC. Atiku as well as Sowore, Ezekwesli, Donald Duke, Kingsley Moughalu and many more, a total of 59 persons contested under their respective political parties for the seat of the President in 2019. Majority of persons who have done nothing but crisscross from one party to the other once their interests had been tampered with. And the wheel goes round and round! So we've finally registered and gotten our voter's card and we can't wait for 2023 to exercise our franchise but as we can see from precedents, it's not

This was Deolu's mantra So many prophecies would attest to his greatness Infact some Sundays ago he was still singled out in a crusade and given the same prophecy 'You are a very great man'.... 'Deee the greatest' Silas hailed upon running into Deolu at a mall while fist bumping him 'What's gonna be will be' Deolu replied As a happening guy in their university days, Deolu had so used the slogan it became customary to greet him this way 'Silas, I definitely wouldn't have recognized you if you hadn't called' Deolu said 'It's been ages my man, almost 10 years after university days is a long time'. 'That's true my bro' Deolu replied So what are you doing now?' Silas asked 'I've been here and there,you know how it is getting a job in this our country. Without connection, nothing for you' Deolu responded As he waived farewell to Silas, he couldn't help but do the comparism. It was more tha

If you see my smile ehhhh Oh seti go Chi-Baby the hot 200 level university babe was on a date with her boyfriend in a very fancy Eatery Everybody acted composed, posh and classy I knew instantly that this was where I belonged Look at me na,  Chi-beke, Ada nma 1 of African Na all of us deserve this good life! 'What would you like to have Ma'am' the waiter asked Of course every girl wants fried rice and chicken Sir Bobo fine Girl fine Environment fine Time to chop Yours truly was carefully working with fork and knife Can't recall a single conversation after the waiter brought my food I was giving the meal my undivided attention Is it not common cutlery? We have it na It's many in my father's house Rice don finish for plate I look chicken Chicken look me I see I saw I see sineke, agwor I tried cutting it Could you imagine that this meat almost flew out of my plate! Mannerless fowl I stylishly pushed the plate aside, zeroed in on my coke and remembered I

In the few months gone by, I was gradually loosing it The pregnancy test came out negative again What's wrong with me? With the bathroom door firmly locked, I let the tears rain down in torrents. Maybe if it feel harder my soul would be purged of this torment This had become my routine lately I was running through pregnancy kits like a maniac  There was no sensible explanation, i still showed up everywhere with a smile And in that moment I understood  I understood perfectly I understood the pains of the couples trying for years without conceiving  I understood the pains of doing a thing severally and yet failing at it Giving it a hundred and getting zero I understood those tears of resignation where you ask God 'Please help me' When it's dark When you're alone When that facade falls and you're staring at you Haven given life your everything yet nothing Beeeeepppppp, beeeeepppppp The sound of your hope dying You never know what your neighbour is going

'#1000, for wetin? One painter of garri #1000!!!' 'Mama Julie no be the same garri you sell for me #800 on Tuesday?' 'Customer no be my fault, you no hear say dollar don increase again?' Mama Julie replied me As of yesterday, One Naira=570 Dollars One Naira=655 Euro One Naira=770 Pounds It's no longer news that the Nigerian Naira is on a free fall, prices of basic goods skyrocketting, businesses closing up on the daily and many citizens left hungry and at the brink of depression. As is characteristic of this hardworking government, yesterday the CBN governor called out AbokiFX a website that reports exchange rates on parallel market, as the cause of the tanking of the Naira hence, they'd be coming after it. My God!!! To say I was shocked will be putting it mildly. Hahahaha It's like blaming livescores for Arsenal's incessant loss.  Leaving the root cause to treat symptoms No be juju be that? We are clearly in this dip because of the e

He was staring at me as though I had grown an extra head The confusion very much visible on his face 'what did you say?' he asked 'I said Baby won't we fight' I slowly repeated Hubby dumped the clothes he was holding on the bed and sat next to me 'I don't get it, why do you want a fight?' Of course! He won't get it. Why are men slow like this? I wondered 'Baby, it's over 6months since we got married and I was told that the first few months as a couple isn't always so rosy because of personal differences, as the couple would be trying to understand each other and all but in our case we've never even argued over anything. Is it normal?' I explained He gave me the most bewildered look ever while asking ' who's authority are you citing?' 'Na wa oh, this thing is general knowledge. Ask older couples around'. My Darling husband fell back on the bed, had himself a good laugh till tears spilled down his che

One more look at the mirror,  Finishing touches here and there and Baby girl was ready to storm the church in staggering heavenly awesomeness. 'Chi-Baby, the one and only Ada Daddy ya, blue blooded Princess of the Okpaga-Elechi dynasty, pioneer member 'chop life gang' , press all my buttons baby, I'm your keypad'. The moment hubby started dropping those fine lines, I knew it, church pipo yaff finish todayyyyy Hubby had gotten me this beautiful gown over the weekend I was rocking with my sneakers. I was so pumped with excitement I had even rehearsed some would  be earth shattering dance moves for Sunday service so trust me when I say Chi-Baby was bouncing and ready. Only if I knew the fate awaiting me A few hours later I was ducking behind my hubby while willing the ground to sha open and swallow me oh. Guess what? My beloved 3yrs+ son had pulled off my wig and was having himself a good laugh. Here's how it went down You know this Baby girl is energy personified

Even in my presence! I've had enough oh, ah ah You'd always find him laughing so loud, whispering, and talking in some language only both of them understood This used to be us  How did everything change? Or rather when? I've been a good wife and friend to hubby all these years My prayer life had even trippled in momentum So why? The first instance I set my eyes on her and she gave me those dimple riddled smile I knew I was done for Fighting her was already a lost cause so I made up my mind to adapt and accept that this love had come to stay Don't get me wrong, everyone possess that emotion called jealousy but with respect to her, I knew the lines were blurred so I accepted my fate to share him Have you ever had to watch a person you love fall in love with another and all you could do was stand at the sidelines? They were at it again! Everything she did made him happy Indeed she was a beauty to behold Brown skin girl, sparkling white teeth, an overall rain of awesomeness

Doors and windows opened  Ohhhh my world! I had done it again Sacrifice the family's lunch on the altar of my books As a proper Naija kid my tears were in anticipation of the brain resetting encounter I would be receiving from my parents upon their return. Yes, as a child, reading and writing was where I found solace Many years gone by, marriage, two kids and I had lost touch with that side of me 'Baby, I know you love writing, why did you stop?' my husband asked  I realized nothing except me was holding me So here I am, choosing to live out this part of me to it's fullest Here I am choosing not to fear failure Here I am choosing to share with you Let's sojourn 'The Good Life'.