Posts

Showing posts from February, 2023

Mummy where is her penis?

Image
I had bathed and dressed up my son, his sister was next. We just got into the room to dress her up when my son shouted at me while pointing at his sister       ' Mummy Z doesn't have a penis.        Where is Z's penis?' To say I was shocked would be an understatement as I wasn't expecting that. Well, I explained to him the best way I could that his sister was a girl while he was a boy and girls don't have penis. We look at our kids and box them as just kids without realizing that daily they're growing and observing and would have questions that demands answers from us as parents. From sex, to life in general. Whatever the case it is our duty as parents to prepare our kids, to teach and train them to know about life and everything there is. We are their guardians, to point them in the right direction. Kids of this generation are very inquisitive and far more intelligent than we sometimes give them credit for. If we as parents don't educate the

No! It's no longer business as usual

Image
An unprecedented wind has been blowing since the collation and announcement of results. A party that was barely known or recognized as any force whatsoever months ago with no single member holding any office, has got her candidates presently winning in landslides parties with their candidates who have been around for years some almost dating back to when we became fully operating a democratic government in Nigeria. The handwriting is clearly written. Nigerians are tired, they want better, they're choosing better for themselves and their future. The elections however has nor been devoid of serious riggings but in all one can still see the fight for competence, credibility, integrity and sincerity as against any other factor. As the collation center keeps reeling out results, one can only hope that the fight of Nigerian people wins over the prevailing evil but even if it doesn't there's still tomorrow and we won't stop fighting #voiceofahopefulnigerian

How fast they grow!

Image
I want to share what I planned to write as a memoir for my secret diary... Truly, I just realised today that kids do grow up so fast and I wonder how I'd look back and they'd all be fully grown up. While returning from church today, a gospel music was playing and I was lost in thought when My son brought me back to reality with "Turn right!"  He had seen his favourite eatery where we buy chicken, chips and ice cream. I turned and we drove in. Spent a while on the queue because POS was misbehaving buy it finally got to our turn and I bought their favourite ice cream and chicken and chips, and because the place was crowded we entered the car and continued our drive home. I entered a few pot holes and he said "Drive gently please, your car has poured my ice cream" the shocker was when he said "Take it easy ok?" My Goodness!!! the maturity! I had to start asking myself all over again how old he actually is.... He hasn't turned five year

WE WAIT!

Image
Kpooooaaaaa kpooooaaaaa Gunshots echoing People running Collation of results ohhhhh simple thing oh. We came to the polling unit as early as early can be Time to put words into action We're taking back our nation Hype and ginger, hype and ginger It literally took forever to get everyone to cast their votes, but it was done thankfully. And then the collation finally began Next thing boys began showing up with up oh And then the gunshots began to ring out. The story of thugs attacking people and snatching ballot boxes has been a recurring incidence in many polling units. So many things plagued the elections Some parties didn't have their logos on the ballot paper. INEC officials showed up very late to their stations. Some didn't show up at alland more Well, we've done our bit today and we wait in hope. We wait!

Vote credibility

Image
The debate got so heated that they broke into a fight. Kunle swore that he would make life miserable for Chidi While Chidi was on his phone already calling for reinforcement Abubakar was trying to act as an arbitar but when he saw that the guys were not backing down, he let them have a go at each other. Within minutes bottles were flying Drinks splashing Cuts, scream, people running helter skelter All because everyone was defending their choice of candidate for the elections. It went from tribe to religion, financial stamina, connections, influence and affluence, such that when the spring of credibility came into the mix, the others couldn't stand it. In a few hours we would be deciding who would pilot the affairs of our country and whether we like it or not, directly or indirectly that person would also be piloting our lives. We have the chance to make a change, to consciously set the stage for our children and the generations after. No matter how bad things have becom

Tick Tick

Image
Tick says the clock,tick tick What you have to do, do quick! And there goes the nursery rhyme. Time waits for no man, procrastination is nothing but a subtle thief, slowing eating away at your time and life until you wake up one day to realize the harvest of nothing. Whatever comes to mind, put to work. You see that your idea you have continuously procrastinated beginning, you might wake up someday to find another living it. Again, time waits for no man. My Grandma always told us the story of when her husband was still alive. She advised him severally to build a house. He was a very wealthy farmer who dealt in selling of fish, yam and rice. Whenever she brought the topic of building up, he'd laugh and brag to her that the house he was going to build would be a wonder hence he wasn't in a hurry and she should calm down. They continued to live on their clay house and some years down the line, his business went south, few years down the line, he died. Till today the cl

Cut! ACTION!

Image
If you know my Mum, you'd know that woman is such a great actor. We've had cause to laugh to stupor over some of her behaviour and I think it generally has rubber off on me. Is it the times when she knows the person amongst my sibling and I who have done something but would pretend not to know and keep asking us to get us to confess? Or the times she's aware of our plans as kids and feign ignorance? How about the time my sis was liking one Bobo or the time I was gifted something by a crush, or the time I over inflated prices to things or when my Aunty began sneaking around to wear trousers? Mummy would pretend oh, next thing your matter would be discussed in the morning devotion. Ever been in a situation where you already heard the gist or got the info and they come to tell you but you've got to pretend you're hearing it for the first time? Hahaha, well, a little bit differently, my daughter is fond of troubling her elder brother. This particular day, he

Walking in their footsteps

Image
This birthday bash couldn't have gone any better. My colleagu's birthday party was a blast. The music was so on point, MC, decorations, everybody slaying and most of all,  t here was no shortage of what to eat and drink. We served ourselves and ate to our hearts content and then like a lightbulb my brain went into overdrive. By the time I was getting home I came back loaded with enough goodness. Hubby stood with his mouth agape wondering how the goodies were just coming out of my takeaway bag. From different kinds of food, to small chops, wine, can drinks and not to forget meat in abundance. Hubby couldn't help himself as he burst out laughing and in his words 'After all your packaging, how did you manage to carry all these?' I used to laugh at my Mum as I felt it was embarrassing going to parties and she'd be taking food away and drinks away. I made jest of her so many times to count but then, few years down the line I find myself doing the exact sa

It's Decided #P/D2023

Image
Five days to the election of a new government. Nigeria has been through alot. Her lands plundered and soiled and her people have become unrecognizable due to the hardship they're suffering.. Today it's bad leadership Tomorrow it's crisis, kidnapping  or robbery Not to mention the rise in hunger which invariably means rise in crime. Rise in the price of goods and services, yet no comensurate increament in salary. Exploitation extortion and dehumanization by the police.   The Nigerian people have been through alot of 0ain and suffering without an end in sight. However, thanks to providence the Nigerian people have been offered a chance at redemption in the guise of election. Nigerians are tired and weary to their bones. It's time for the people to speak.  We're not just speaking with our words, were but with actions backing the words. Well it's five days to election. It's not about religion, tribe, influence or affluence.  On the 25th of February,

Give you a reason to smile

Image
Just got back from a Valentine picnic and it was mad fun! From the games, to the food, the music, the atmosphere was superb. It was an opportunity to rekindle the love A nostalgic moment Magic truly was in the air.3 Went back memory lane, to the first time hubby and I met. Pure magic! Love is indeed a beautiful thing! From this outing I came back super happy, re-energized and refreshed in love All those sweet memories pouring in, the positive energy and more... Create the time to love, not just your spouse or family but yourself as well. Live life, smile, dance in the rain, drink in the sunshine, make allowance for mistakes, forgive yourself and have fun. You're permitted to and you should.  Life is short and it waits for no  Make the most of every opportunity you've got  Let love  lead you.

What would it cost you?

Image
' Don't worry, Uche can do the job of ten men' hubby's employer said when he was asked to employ more staffs as the department was short staffed. I once worked in a firm where my Boss never paid, gave accomodation or any allowances. You were only entitled to little commissions after doing a job. Some employers are terrible. It's either staffs are underpaid, denied promotions, cheated out of allowances, emotionally manipulated and used, refused vacations or holidays, yet the demands they make on the job from their staffs are crazy. Some even demand for work during the weekend and pay nothing for the extra time. They believe that once you're under their employment, they are entitled to use that staff as they deem fit. You treat your staffs anyhow, demand that they give you a 100% and wonder why they leave your employment. Nobody would leave a place where he's well treated. You treat them well, they'll give you their best.

When you call on me!

Image
Lover girl like me, With my wonderful Nokia phone my Dad got me, I was on top of the world oh. Then to make things better, I began to have admirers left right and centre. Then MTN happened! I'd wait and at exactly 12am, I'd be on the phone talking about global warming, wars, how to relocate to Mars 😂 and alot more educational stuffs.   If you thought I was addicted to my phones and the midnight calls, you probably are right and yes, I should have respected my young life and given myself my well deserved sleep. But then this was nothing compared to what life became when I met the love of my life. We would be on calls practically almost all day until we just couldn't, then we'd move to chatting on our Blackberry, and graduated to WhatsApp. We'd talk until we slept off and continue the minute we wake up. Love nwatinti was doing us like drugs. What were we talking about? Only the heavens knew🤷🤷🤷 . God was good to me oh Love of my life became hubby for li

I must belong

Image
Nancy was all dolled up in her red gown, matching red shoes and red lipstick. The perfect definition of Lady in Red! A beauty, true and true. She had thoughtfully put every detail in place for this day. It was a constant torture hearing friends talking about how they've been to this and that places, three stars, five stars, even 10 star hotels. The experiences of been on exotic trips. Unfortunately these were trips that her friends didn't pay for. Nancy was blessed to become friends with some wealthy course mates when she got into the University. Of course their lives were naturally characterized by affluence and influence which Nancy heard about and was able to enjoy a few. However, she resorted to finding ways to try to do things to supposedly 'fit in'. Hmmmmmmm of course these friends were only living off family wealth and the likes. Nancy went from lying, to different kinds of scheming, how about boyfriend? She told herself she deserved the good life as

And so it has begun...

Image
Everything that could go wrong seems to be going wrong all at once. As of today, about three states have been caught up in wild protests. It all began gently with long queues at the banks, then it progressed to more hoarding of cash, people were protesting in their individuals ways, some would sleep over in banks just to be the firsts to make withdrawal in the morning. Others were going naked in the banking hall, fights began breaking out amongst customers due to the frustration. Financial institutions began selling cash to POS operators, who in turn skyrocketed their withdrawal charge to almost half the amount of every withdrawal made. In all these the government was quiet and took no actions to end the practice. How can so many drastic changes be implemented same time? Change of currency, seizure of the use of old currencies without the new in circulation, then an abrupt move for a cashless society yet the financial institutions that would aid this smooth transition are s

Happy Valentine!

Image
Flash back to yester years This wicked boy Emeka, that I gave my heart to for good three months broke up with me.  Just like that oh 12th of February Emeka started telling me we were not compatible, hence he wanted a breakup. I had already pictured how my parara would be, the way I'd jump and scream in surprise, how I'd ensure all my neighbours hear me and the way my social media posts would pepper everyone. Now this guy wanted to fall my hand? Chi can never carry last oh I opened my door to 14th February and everything I dreamt was there. My parara, my money bouquet, chocolate, chops... Ohhhhhh how I screamed! I ensured it was well captured on camera at all my right angles. Then I began to pepper the world My Red gown was redding My cake caking Wine popping Girl, well packaged See how awwwwww awwwww was flying left right with every kind of compliments. Like I said, Chi can never carry last. If no one celebrates you, celebrate yourself. That's how I locked my do

You still wanna have them?

Image
Hubby was a big time lover of news and wrestling channels. He loved having it on even while he worked. As for myself, I was all about the entertainment outlets and joined hubby sometimes to watch his. And then the kids arrived. Everything took a 360° turn around. We always subscribed the full bouquet in DSTV but the kids would keep clamouring for their cartoon networks to through every means and scheme possible until we'd give in. Gradually it became the practice in the house that once they returned from school, we'd put on the cartoon channels. Funny thing is whenever the channel of their choice is on they would insist we sit with them. We got tired and would sometimes sneak into the room to be on our phones or just lie down but trust the kids to come for us. Hubby decided to then install another TV in our room at least that way we could watch what we wanted. The joke however was on us as our little soldiers not only invaded our room, bit took complete control.😭 I

If it was me!

Image
'Madam if you do exclusive ehhhhhh, your child will be strong bla bla balablu bulabla' I decided to join the exclusive gang for my son. Don't ask me how we managed oh but we made it through to the almighty six month. You needed to see how high the shoulder pad of my pride was. And then my daughter came and the exclusive journey began again. To call it a struggle for my daughter and I would be an understatement. Didn't even last three months and I had to introduce supplementary feeding and before six months she had began eating solids. Funny thing is my son falls ill more often than my daughter, my daughter eats much more than my son. How about those who see your method to how you're training your kids, running your home, business or marriage and they have a better or alternative way you would've done it better or smarter or more posh and all? I once lived with an Uncle who almost got HBP because I wore heels and makeup. In his books I was just a mete

Will you pay my Bride price?

Image
Nneka sat under the mango tree in her father's compound and wept her eyes out. There goes another Saturday . One of these Saturdays should've been her big day but custom and tradition said NO. Flashback: It was the warmest Friday, the elders were all sitted, Nneka was all beautifully dolled up. The groom wouldn't stop staring at his bride. The food and wine was flowing. They happiness!!!! And then it was time for the bride price! The elders swore that Nneka was the community treasure, being the first Nurse and as such, were entitled to everything they demanded as bride price and the four pages od marriage list in general. Nneka's fiancee, a young chap who was just starting out in life, bought the things he could afford. It was substantial as he had been saving for awhile but the elders of the bride vehemently refused to settle for anything short. Four years later Nneka's fiancee had married another with kids even, while Nneka has gradually progressed to

LEAN ON ME!!!

Image
The minute I took the call, he burst into tears, talked and talked and talked. Was I surprised? Of course! My brother is this cool, all put together guy Always smiling and jovial So it was surprising to see him this broken and in tears Took awhile to calm him down. He did get himself together again and all I did was give a listening ear. Sometimes life gets so tough that you don't know what to do. You never know what your neighbour is going through,  You never know their threshold for stress, pain, struggles and all Sometimes all that friend, spouse, child needs is just a listening ear Whenever you see a person down, it doesn't necessarily mean they want solutions Be quick to lend a hand Be quick to comfort Be quick to give words of healing Be quick to be there You never know what your being there can do You never know how much your little words of encouragement and comfort can do You just might be saving a life.

Crushed!!!

Image
                                                   Anonymous Everybody was getting dressed to go chill, the vibes and excitement was palpable. It was agreed that we'd go swim. Swim oh, as in, swimming! Oya let's go! I joined the bandwagon make e no be like say I dey dull Splasssshhh! splasssshhh!! That's all I heard as my friends began diving into the pool Swimming back and forth, chasing each other around Then they chose to play ball in the pool 'Crystal come inside na' 'Yoi guys go ahead, I wanna be here for a little bit longer' I replied. Me, Crystal? I was sitting by the pool contemplating how in God's name I would even make it into the water. Amongst everyone my swimming trunk looked the best; you'd think I was modeling. The opportunity to showcase it was the only reason I agreed to this swimming idea as my swim suit had been sitting under my box since I got it on a whimp months ago. How could I tell them I didn't know how to swi

All the way...

Image
Everyone around me knows I have serious phobia for anything electricity. You can't fault me if you've been shocked many times, as well as witnessed it. This wonderful day, hubby had traveled as usual so I was by myself with the kids. Picked them from school, we were in high spirits, singing and vibing until we got home. Went through the usual motions of undressing, having our bath, eating and then we turned the TV on but puuuufffffffff! THE TV SOCKET BLEW UP! Jesu Oluwa ohhhhhhhhh My kids are not the type to mess with their tv time In no time the questions had begun flying 'Mummy put on the tv now' 'Mummy we want PJ MASKS' 'Mummy put cartoon ' Heyyyyyyyyyyy! God being so kind, hubby bought a socket awhile ago Well, who will fix it? I had never done it before, not to mention the phobia😭😭😭 and the kids were unrelenting they had even begun to cry. The next instant, I found myself changing the socket and  hurray, it worked! You see, when you l

When the evening comes...

Image
'If you touch me again, if you touch me again!' Mr Tobi yelled as his stormed out of the house while his wife knelt begging for forgiveness about another imaginery offence. He was the man of the house and no one could challenge his authority. His once cheerful, vibrant and free spirited wife, Martha, was now a walking shadow His children scamper into hiding the minute they hear the sound of his car. He was the lion He was the fight He was the war. The kids grew to fear their Dad while sharing a stronger bond daily with their Mum. Many years past, kids are all grown,  Mum is going from the house of one child to another. From vacationing to Omugwor and more. The man of the house has been left to man his house. Whenever he manages to get through to the kids, they simply send him money. The other day, Valerie his first daughter got married in the U.S.A and got her brother to walk her down the isle. Joe his third son has changed jobs and Dad is clueless of his whereabout

Feed me right

Image
Time to pick up the kids from school and the teacher was once again telling me how my son needed extra classes and some blablabla to improve his learning. It almost felt like harassment but then, shrugged it off for my boy's sake. Fast-forward to December, hubby got the kids tablets as their Christmas presents. Ohhhhhhh how excited they were and trust kids, it was put to work immediately. Today, went to pick the kids as usual and the teacher gave a very warming complimentary review of his improvement this new session. This progress could be traced down when he began using his Tab. Of course his Dad loaded it up with educational stuffs, rhymes etc for his level. Simply put, the key was in the constant hearing/repitition. What do you constantly hear or feed your mind with? You are a product of what you consistently feed yourself. You want greatness, feed your mind great stuffs You want progress, feed your mind with it. Ohhhhhh, and to leave your mind bland is to mean your

If it's not good,🤐

Image
' Look at this useless woman. Holding a car key and coming to haggle price with me over my goods?  I'm definitely not sell for her and her likes'. The market woman said in igbo as I walked away from her stall without knowing I understood the language. Ever met had such an experience? Where people talk about you in a language but unfortunately for them, you understood all they said? Was at a function in Benin. One of the guest, was the classmate of the host in their university days. She spent all her time talking with the lady besides her in igbo thinking nobody understood her, given that her friend wasn't Igbo and the occasion was taking place in Edo. She had one crazy thing or silly observation or the other to make about the host or the event Well, unfortunately for the guest, the mother of the host understood and spoke Igbo fluently. This was an annual function with loads of benefits. You guessed right; she wasn't invited again. You see a person and as

Whatever you do, always give your best!

Image
I was briskly walking back home with so much determination on my face. The barber had just informed me that the price of cutting my son's hair had doubled. Whaaaaatttt!? I screamed and when he reconfirmed the increased price I couldn't bring myself to pay so I bundled my son home and automatically became his barber. Thankfully we had a clipper, so I worked my magic on my son's hair. As you already have guessed, I had no prior experience at barbing so the haircut I gave him was truly magical 😲😂😂😂. The young chap was unrecognizable. Praise be the heavens that his hair grows back fast. Anyway, I wasn't deterred as we went back to the home servicing over and over again and of course, I got better at the craft. However, today I decided to go give my son the salon treatment again and as I watched them my mind kept processing his gradual transformation. The end result was all shades of gorgeousness and as I looked at him, one lesson clicked. I was good and alwa

When will it be enough?

Image
So APC is now fighting APC? I was amazed to watch the Governor of Kaduna State, Mallam Elrufai insinuate that the Presidency is fighting against the presidential candidate of the APC, former Governor of Lagos State, Bola Ahmed Tinubu from winning the polls on 25th of February.  it won't have mattered much if Tinubu wasn't the prudential candidate of the APC.  But then... who are we to even talk when the Naira is currently being sold in Nigeria... in a sane clime this should be a travesty. Some say this is a way to force Nigerians to adopt the cashless policy of the CBN and FG which has been in the plans for some years now, but several confounding factors have always prevented it from becoming a reality. Filling stations in different states no longer   accept that they have POS machines or corporateaccount for transfers, they now demand cash, the reason being that POS operators now go to filling stations to buy Naira so they can sell at exorbitant rates...  the quest

Sibling rivalry

Image
My daughter stood in front of me crying her eyes out again. I had done everything in the book from petting, promises, snacks to threatening. Yet her brother won't let her be so I got vexed and spanked him. Guess what? Madam Princess turned on me. She started fighting me for touching her brother. They both came after me.  So much for defending the crying Princess right? My kids share a very close bond because we brought them up that way. Such that even when they have conflicts, it never leads to the point where one seeks to hurt the other. My parents brought up my siblings and I in the same fashion. They let us sort ourselves out as kids, not always quick to interfer in our relationship as kids or bad mouth one or turn us against each other. This gave room for a very healthy relationship amongst us. We parents are saddled with the responsibility of helping our kids build such beautiful relationships. What greater joy would we have? A loving relationship as young siblings

When will it all end? Do we all have to die first?

Image
Would it be appropriate to say that it's quite unfortunate to be a Nigerian right now? The situation in the country at present is best imagined than experienced. Went out to go buy fuel today and it was from one queue to another. Queue for cash, queue for fuel, even queue to have your PVC. The common denominator amongst everything right now is that at the end of the queueing, you still won't get what kept you there in the first place. A little tour around town will show you the craze and frustration everywhere. Inflation in price of goods, inflation in fuel prices, not to mention it's unavailability, inflation in the charge for POS withdrawals, all without cause or reasonable explanation. At first we cried that we as a nation bought finished products of raw materials we have. How then can you explain the present state where a nation is selling her currencies to it's citizens? You buy money so you can have cash to buy things. Madness right? The government of