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Showing posts from April, 2022

Little Lady Boss; Everything new!

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This was supposed to be us shopping for our son's birthday The week before, we had shopped for our girl, so we were focused on the boy this time around Our little lady boss just sashed /struted to where clothes were lined up and picked a gown for herself, walked back to her Dad and said 'Daddy wear me' No, it wasn't a request, it was an order as she was already tugging at the top she was wearing Ohhhhh did i mention that the little Boss loved new things? Shoes, clothes, cups, cutlery... Every and anything new belonged to her That's how the little Boss ended up shopping for herself Funny part; once she tries on anything new, there's no taking it off until she falls asleep There i was praying for a baby girl after i had my son and one of the reasons i wanted a daughter as funny as it sounds, was because i wanted someone i could share clothings, jewelries and the likes the way i did with my sister I'm sure heaven was just laughing as it sent me the

BREAKING THE BIAS: What a man can do...

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Tears, tears and more tears After serving tirelessly as an umpire between this duo they began pulling at each other's toys There was light and if their favorite cartoon network was on right now I won't be in the middle of this war with the kids The TV fuse suddenly started burning so I was forced to turn the TV off And that's when the war began I began to get overwhelmed by their constant whining, tantrums and kept the wistful thought of the TV magically coming on and redeeming me from this dilemma Ahaaaaaa, like a light bulb I remembered that there was a new socket hubby bought that was lying somewhere in the house Found it but therein laid the next challenge My crazy phobia for anything electrical and so the thought of changing the socket got me thinking of eternal life One crazy shriek from my daughter was all it took me moving I'd rather take a chance in that eternal life than spend another minute watching the kids without the TV So I got to work, first attempt, sec

Yully kinda loving

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Solemn promises made amidst tears, to love, to protect, to hold.... Vows so dear Rings exchanged alongside cheers and clapping Everyone is left teary and assured this love is eternal Years later Promises change My opinion; The fundamental pain didn't lie in the broken promise itself by first having an extramarital affair, that birthed a child and then the furtherance of getting married to the said lady, but in the fact that all these were discovered by his first wife of 17 years on social media I've been praying that this turns out to be some sick joke As i can only imagine the hurt, pain, betrayal, disrespect and broken trust If prior to your vows you had certain convictions, that somehow happen to change after marriage or during the course of marriage mistakes, issues arise, what happens to the place of opening up and discussing with your spouse rather than the embarrassment of finding out things from third parties Is this Yul saga a reality or some sick prank on

The God factor

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If success was predicated only on hardwork, then the manual labourers would be the Elon Musks of our world So many people work the 8-6, have businesses by the side, go out of their way to engage in other jobs, forgoing any leisure or vacation, hoping that oneday someday, one of their many endeavours will bring them the big break after hearing over and over from motivational talks about hardwork being the key You see, not all the successful people can be said to be so intelligent but something gives them an edge  How about you? Have you taken into consideration the 'God factor?' After investing all the energy, hardwork, skill and everything in between or in cases where you don't know what to do, take a minute and put God into that equation He very well may be the thing you need to make everything fall in place The place of God might not sound socially acceptable and some might put it into debate but it can't be denied because like oil brings smoothness to a m

Judas kiss

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Integrity; a priceless commodity that can take years to build and seconds to destroy. Integrity doesn't come cheap. It has to be tested over and over again and built over time to be trusted so before you stake yours for anybody, be very sure of that person. So someone i had alot of respect for because he had proven himself trustworthy, referred me to Mr A for a service. Based on the trust for my person, i didn't even give it a second thought. Made payment, expecting immediate service, only for Mr A to send a message that the service would be rendered in about two weeks time hmmmmmmm he never stated this until he got my alert oh On the said date, nothing. Three days after i asked about the service, Mr A starts apologising and says he's still working on it and a few other logistics, so he gives me a later date One month later, I'm yet to get the service i paid for, no apologies, nothing.  I wouldn't have made payment for the service to Mr A if not for the

You must be a Doctor!

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'I wanted to be a Doctor but my parents refused to train me so i decided that one of my child must do medicine and i will train my children to the highest level. They will all go to university. My first son Tom, will study medicine, his sister Blessing, will be a Teacher, my other two children will read Law and Engineering. They will not suffer what i suffered' Does the above statement sound familiar? Elders have been living vicariously through younger ones most especially parents who feel a certain way that they were probably robbed of time or the opportunity hence theirs kids would have to fit into those roles they would've wanted for themselves.  This goes without thought to how these decisions would affect their kids, the emotional  and psychological pressure it places on them to live for others That's why you see persons repeating and repeating in the university with carryovers unend, or failing out from one course to another, some pay and scheme their

Him don get....and so?

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Small Ph.D he got we won't hear word again Ordinary marriage and she's carrying herself like Queen Elizabeth. Is she the first to get married? Car oh, a second hand car in fact and see shoulder; prideeeeee By the time my own arrive ehhhh it will be You know me i have class and high taste Hellllllloooooo Aunty/Uncle how do you like your thunder? Shaken not stirred right? You see that bad belle, don't allow your destiny slip away when you start purging as a result of it oh It would cost nothing to celebrate people's successes with them without that sprinkle of bitterness Truth is, whatever you surround yourself with surely will rub off on you Instead of tilting towards jealousy, why not take the success as a motivation to be at the top and at your best Celebrate others genuinely  Tomorrow it will be you celebrating Will you want people clapping or capping?

You receive in the same way you give

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'Mrs Dimka'?  Steven looked at his phone, watching as it rang the second time with growing irritation and thought 'what could she possibly want? The money i have is strictly for my business' Mr Dimka was a seasoned and well known timber trader. He put in many years of back breaking hard work to become the wealthy tycoon he had was. He was an orphan who had no place to go until luck brought a man his path who taught him little about the timber trade and with his determination, honesty and hard work he turned the timber business into a gold mine. As his way of giving back, he took people under his wings, who had little or no hope like he did, training them in school or business Tragically he died due to illness, and as with many African traditions, his family members claimed his estates and businesses as theirs, leaving his widowed wife and two sons, Caleb and Jude, with nothing Steven was one of the first persons her husband trained, help set up and was resid

1000 ways to survive parenting

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'Stop jumping!' The words had barely left my mouth when we heard the front windscreen to our brand new car crack Hubby and i were so shocked all we could do was stare at our 4years old who had just cracked the windscreen with his head while jumping As African parents the first instinct was to take off my flip flop and show him pepper but hubby said 'Baby, to what end?' Ahhhhhhhh Baba! Some weeks back it was my Samsung phone the he insists on watching his favourite cartoon with that was sent on early retirement As parents to toddlers, you'd always find yourself screaming stop for one reason or the other and your patience tested to it's maximum limit Does that stop the kids from causing mayhem? Hahaha, maybe for a minute before their focus locks onto another target This holiday period has indeed tested our parenting resolve on not flogging them sourly for random mistakes Kids would always be kids and if we're to get physical and flog them every tim

Planting for greater harvesting

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This is a government living up to it's promise for once! We really didn't understand when the campaigns were on going saying that it was a government of change Change of life as we know it Change in every sense of the word to  steal the joy of citizens They promised that they'd fight corruption and in our President's bid to pass the message, he took a total of 166 days in his first tenure to meticulously hand pick men with stainless repute as his cabinet members Fight corruption, fight corruption  EFFC picking citizens left right and centre under the guise of suspicion, investigation and interrogation Days ago the ruling political party released to us the cost of normination forms for different cadre and 100million Naira was the amount stipulated for the form of Presidency. A position were the annual income is less than 15million, an aspirant buys form, spends some more millions for campaign and servicing other expenses and then he wins the election. What wo

MADNESS!

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As hubby drove we just kept arguing, ohhhhhh for whatever reason, i was beyond vexed, i was livid. I wanted to eat him up alive and for the love of God, today, i can't even remember what we were arguing about I was so mad, i asked him to stop the car Opened the pigeon hole, counted some of his cool cash and got down from the car Took the next available transport to a hotel and checked in I'm very sure hubby was flabbergasted at my behaviour He let me be and went home given that we had a bit of construction going on in our house that he needed to supervise By evening he called to ask where i was cos he wanted bringing me dinner (smart guy) I knew i was in for a treat but i had to do the some small shakara as the Queen that i am. This was the longest we've ever stayed before resolving any issue Some other time, we were in the company of another couple going for a hang out and in the course of the discuss, hubby made a comment that got to me so i clicked the mute b

Cash out!

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Register with 5k, bring 2 people and get 100k (casted) Just register with 20k, we'd give you products worth that amount and 50% interest rate after two days Invest with us, we are trusted, we don't do money, we do products, we do services, we do bla bla bla.... I remember how i had anxiously looked forward to balling that December, counting down to withdrawing my money. In short i saw my wealth stacked up as gold and like the Moses of my family, it was going to be a time of unlimited flexing, a December to remember. And so it was. Few days to cash out MMM crashed I sought high  and low for tears but found none I was a few stops from losing my sanity oh but, life must go on It seemed MMM opened the floodgate to different ponzi schemes Right now it's looking like the minute we  are trying to adjust to the news of a crash of one scheme, another one shows up to top it with more heartbreaking stories from investors So many things have been said about these schemes fl

It's more than eggs and semen

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A parent is a caregiver of their offspring, not necessarily biological. It involves a great deal of consistency and routine for the kids, proper expression of love and affection, effective communication, discipline, responsibility, being a good model for the kids. It involves a whole lot of dedication of time and effort. It's a lifelong position which cannot easily be glossed over A friend was complaining of how her son had lost weight since they got a live in maid from the village. I advised her to pay close attention to her child. The maid from responsibile for everything about the child from sunrise to sunset because the parents were very busy. It wasn't until they had gone to tge village to celebrate one of these festivities with family that an Aunt discovered the maid not only beat and maltreated the child, but also ate her food leaving the child hungry most times and due to threats from the maid, the child couldn't voice our to her parents We as parents ow

Judging is easier

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It’s easier being on the standpoint of judgment than empathy. It quicker to make conclusions and rule on people than making efforts to understand the why and how they do the things they do. A woman told a story of how she went for antenatal and seated a few seats away from her was another pregnant lady who was having snacks and soda but the catch was that she was on her third can when the antenatal class began and in the course of teaching, the nurses taught them to abstain from carbonated drinks. Of course all eyes turned to the woman who had just drank several cans right before the class. Long story short, after the class, she found out that the lady in question had low sugar hence the drinks While growing up, I had this Aunt who’d always taunt my Mum about her tummy, recommend the heavens and even bought her a girdle that Mum should work on herself. Several years later, she got married and four kids after, she looks like Michelin’s eldest cousin Let’s consciously adopt the attitude

It's all working out

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The way things are going, if one is not careful,  it would be a smooth sail into the river of depression  We wake up everyday to be assaulted by one crazy news or the other. Friends cursing themselves out, siblings with rivalry or relatives with entitlement, war/crisis, marriages packing up, economic hardship..... There are countless reasons to be sad However this time more than ever, we have to wake up consciously to the bright side. There's every reason to be thankful if we look closely. We have life, we have health, we have food, a place to sleep and call home.... I don't have these things! But you're alive, that more than anything means there's hope for you. A living dog is better than a dead lion. You still have a fighting chance to be anything and everything So go into your world today with the spirit of the winner you are knowing that no matter what the times and seasons look like, it will all work out for your good. HAVE A BLAST!

EAT AND DRINK! TOMORROW WE DIE!

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  ‘This is my opportunity to chop this guy, besides meeennnnhhhhh this is a once in a while kinda opportunity’ so Ebuka ordered about five wraps of pounded yam, fisher man soup, with a bottle of drink to step it down then he smiled at his host and said ‘You know I’m a big guy, I need more than the average to fill me up’ Some persons are so gifted in eating and loosing their senses. When it comes to food, they forget all composure, discipline and gulp down any and everything they can .This isn’t just about a person eating, but eating so much that persons around you begin to ask questions or express shock. A meal that was supposed to be for four or five vanishes with the light of speed and yet it feel like it isn’t enough for the one person who ate it all A gluttonous person is ruled by what goes into his mouth and as such can be bought by it. He may also be lacking in self control hence the name ‘Glutton’ in the first place. Some persons do this in their relationships as well, takin

MR ALWAYS RIGHT

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 The last time someone made a suggestion that seemed contrary to that of Oga Boss, he saw it as a personal affront by the staff, gave him a hot tongue lashing and rounded it up with slashing everyone’s salary with the excuse that if one person could have an opinion opposing him, then other staffs were in on it as well Slowly the staffs withdrew from making input whenever meetings were held and even if anyone had something to say, it would be to praise the Boss’s ideas or views even when they knew it had loopholes. The business gradually started recording losses and by the fourth month, it had gotten so significant that the business was struggling to keep up with the basic logistics to keep it afloat How do you handle constructive criticisms or corrections? How receptive are you of persons whose opinions and views do not align with yours? How about someone saying ‘I know a better way we can get this done’. Does it irk you out and make you see it as a personal challenge or does it in

LOVE, LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO

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  Will Smith said love will make you do crazy things and yes, the honourable gentleman was so damn right. I was brought up as the well mannered girl who crossed all her T’s and dotted all her i’s, no picking of the nose in public, no talking with food in your mouth, cross your legs when you sit, no eating on the road… Then hubby Dearest happened to me. How would I have known that meeting him was going to be a life transforming encounter? Some days back, I came to the realization that there were some meals I no longer made because of man oh, hey God. As if that’s not enough, waking at night to hunt for food in the kitchen has now become our all time favourite sport and I’m sure you know what the repercussion is;  gaining fat in wonderful places and in his bid to comfort me, this Igbo man will say ‘Baby why are you trying to starve yourself? You’re a mother of two and you look great’ while he’s handing me the spoon for another mid-night meal. How did I ever get here sweet Lord? H

NA LITTLE TINS DEY MATTER PASS

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 ‘The reason I’m this way is because I just need small time and cash. Once I get myself in order, everybody around will feel my impact. Let this job just click.’ Really? But to do simple dishes for your parents is akin to world war III. No one dare calls you for any errand. The only time you smile when your name is mentioned is when the meal is ready. And you’re still anticipating shocking your family, my Dear, they are already living in a shocking relationship with you. You called your friend for financial aid of 20k, he sent you 4k and told you that’s all he could give. You look at the credit alert in anger and murmur ‘stingy guy’ instead of typing out your gratitude to him. The alternate week you’re calling again for help. Even if na you, you go give? You' were squatting with your friend, she did all the chores, stocked the house with everything, all you contributed was take, take and take from the relationship and you wonder why she has asked you to leave? Everythin

TWO MINUTES MAN!

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 To say I was shell shocked reading about the decision of  The OSCARS Governors as regards the Will Smith’s slapping saga would be an understatement. Will Smith, one of the golden boys of Hollywood, who we all grew up watching and loving. Remember ‘Bad Boys’,Prince of Bel-Air? How about ‘The Pursuit of Happiness’?  Good memories right? He sure kept us glued to our Tvs as the good actor and made us all smile. How about his character behind the camera? Lovable, charismatic, funny, kind, family centred….. Will Smith has been on our screens for decades, painstakingly building his career from nothing to great fame until he became a household name. All it took was just a few minutes of losing control of his emotions to burn the career he spent years, blood , sweat and tears building, to the ground on a night that was supposed to be one of the biggest in his career. Every media outlet went crazy, everyone trying to outdo the other with the news. His character, life, marriage, care

RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE

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 Here we go again, another life cut short in it’s prime to domestic violence. Weeks back, we were reading about the man who set his wife and her younger brother on fire, leading to their death and today, it’s the death of a beautiful female gospel artist, whose husband had subjected to years of abuse but she chose to cover up and refused to leave the marriage. If her reason was that he would change, well, it’s obvious to all he didn’t but kept right at it until he killed her. If she chose not to leave for the sake of her children, she has not only left the marriage, but has finally left the world and rendered her children motherless in the process. Imagine the psychological torture and damage on the kids or the toxicity of the home where the kids would have to watch their father turn their mother into an everyday punching bag. If her reason for staying put was to prevent people from talking, well, the whole nation and beyond are reading and discussing it as it has made the news h

MY NEIGHBOUR'S KEEPER

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  Wicked government, evil people, very insensitive to the people’s plight, heartless leaders  All these and more we scream at the top of our lungs, only to turn around and we become our neighbour’s worst nightmare I was scrolling through my status today and saw a friend’s post on how she made a very urgent small chops delivery to a customer and under very strenuous circumstances, only to receive the goods and he started dishing out super story instead of making payment Look at the economic situation, everyone’s trying their best to make an honest living, see the inflation and all. People are out there doing their best, delivering their goods and services amongst this crazy economic chaos, while some other devious and mischievous minds are somewhere deriving pleasure from shortchanging and defrauding people This is not the case of them not having and buying on credit but a conscious act of wickedness to rip people off They buy things and refuse to pay, disappearing into thin a

Na by force to marry?

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During my NYSC days, I served in a law firm My Boss here dealt with alot of Divorce cases and hmmmmm you'd be surprised at how many people go through this divorce thing and their reasons for wanting it but one of the topmost reasons asides infidelity is where spouses stand in the way of their partners from making progress Noooo it's not a spiritual thing I mean actions, inactions, attitudes and hurdles that spouses set up for their partners How do you get married to a person and deep down you either aren't happy at what they do or your attitude cost them what they do? There was a case of one who's wife was just a mindless spender He'd tried setting her up several times and she successfully ran the businesses down, wants the latest of everything, always impress the gang. The man started hiding his businesses, finance, every money dealings from her until he couldn't stand it anymore  How about the man who just few days after the wedding told the wife &

Health is wealth!

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Aunty Miriam had been complaining of a persistent headache, she got drugs from a roadside pharmacy but the headache didn't abate. By the third day she decided to visit the hospital but while she waited her turn to be seen by the Doctor, she slumped and died. It was later to be discovered she died of a very high blood pressure  Our Nigeria society does not really place emphasis on the routine health checks  If we're not knocked down or suffering a terminal disease, it's not considered worthy enough to get us to the hospital  Others hide under the guise of religion to disobey medical institutions. This has cost some permanent damage to their health or even their lives Nothing about our health should be treated with levity  At the earliest signs seek health from a professional  That thing considered as just headache or just cough or small chest pain might be an indication to something deeper Meaning there's nothing as just Let the Doctors do the diagnosis and a

Who will patronize you?

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My parents had a very important function to attend and my Mum wanted to get something new and glamorous to wear, so I referred her to someone and there the nightmare began  Undersized clothes Oversized clothes Unflattering materials and styles It went from one thing to the other This function was quite important so we couldn't settle for the regular  On and on it dragged until a day to the event Meanwhile he kept assuring us he had what she needed Next he said he was expecting a supply to restock and we hoped again  A day to the event Mum went and sourced for what she'd wear from another vendor This months marks six months since the payment for that transaction  No dress, no refund, no apology We'd have witnessed or heard similar stories around with vendors, photographers, caterers, business persons, tailors, debtors.... Today I'd like to draw our attention to integrity  In whatever you do, be a person of your word Your business, place of work, in any dealin

Young Love;baby steps

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Stella kept going, on and on and on It was like a dam broke free in her heart and eyes and the minute she got started, there was no stopping her A marriage of less than one year and it was from one tale of woe to another This came as a surprise to hubby and I but what we deduced from all she said was third party interference  Stella and Brad dated for almost two years. The announcement of their engagement and subsequent marriage was more than welcomed by family  and friends One look at them and you knew they were the perfect couple One week post wedding, Stella's younger sisters moved in with them By the third month Brad's cousin, Kelvin had already arrived and began living with them as well By the fourth month different news had started filtering home to their respective parents on how the couple lived Stella was already pregnant and had little or no energy for the drama in her house amongst the family members living with them Today it was a tale of how she was con

Love matters; cry me a river

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Six months later she came back crying 'I'm brokenhearted' For who? I consoled her, we played all the Backstreet boys, Westlife and every heartbreaking song we could find, we ate and slept Next day, we repeated the circle Once bitten, twice shy The first time Ijeoma ran to me crying  I bought the matter oh Housed her for days unend till she was emotionally stable again I knew Raymond was not good for her and I told her so in no uncertain terms I tried my best in making her realize that she was worth more than he was offering after she had sworn she was done with him and could never take him back into her life Two days after she left my house They reconciled and I wasn't worthy of being informed I met them at the hostel suya spot and she told him 'That's my friend I was telling you about' Raymond's look was everything I needed to know that Ijeoma spilled everything we discussed  She became distant from me as I was now considered the enemy of th

Do you know who I am?

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'Sir, can you come over to our office. I just saw the last list for payment and I couldn't find your name' That was a secretary calling hubby. Many persons lost the opportunity, but this call right here got hubby to rectify why his name wasn't shortlisted and he got paid Reminds me of the story of a man who was bidding for a job in a firm. Long story short, he not only was rude to the junior office staffs, but he was arrogantly so. At one time a secretary in the office asked what he had come for, he simply gave a sarcastic laugh, told her his business was above her pay grade and gave her #1000 for her troubles. He was so confident because one of the very senior staffs was his friend Unfortunately for him, the secretary he addressed was the one the Boss gave the duty of going through the various bids submitted for the contract and shortlist those who qualified for it. And that's how Oga/Sir lost out on the contract. Treating people nicely is key that can

New month, new day!

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Pain and tears  Good times and bad We'd keep moving New month, new day Yet our resolve remains the same We won't quit, won't faint Won't drown in the storms that come our way Come hell or high waters We're coming out even stronger No, the storms won't kill us Our visions are clear Our goals, intact Our faith, unwavering  Our steps, solid Our resolve, unshaken Mistakes don't define us Circumstances can't stop us Bureaucracy, nepotism, favouritism, religion, war, rumours of war, schemes and plots, conspiracies, backstabbing, hatred, envy, jealousy  Whatever the tide brings Yes, we're not blinded by the prejudice of our world Tested, tried, yet we won't die It can't consume us It may not happen exactly as planned  It may not happen in our own time But time still does stand to favour us And when it happens, that would be our time The perfect time We are the reason, We define the season We sprout, We rise We bring colour to our world