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Showing posts from November, 2021

No go be like Ehis

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Rrrrrinnnnnnnngggggg Rrrrrinnnnnnnngggggg Aunty Laura : Hello  Ehis :  Good afternoon Aunty, it's Ehis on the line Aunty Laura : Ohhhhh Ehis! How are you? How are your parents and siblings? Ehis : Everyone is doing well Ma Aunty Laura : Heard you just finished serving how was service and what are you up to now? Ehis : Yes Ma, service was good. Actually Ma that's part of why I was calling. Aunty Laura : ok, go on. Ehis : Ma I was hoping to come spend some time with your family in Lagos to see if I can find something to do. At most 1 month Aunty. I already asked for my parents consent before calling you. Aunty Laura : That's not a problem at all. You're always welcomed to our house. One month is not a bad idea. I'll call your Mum as well. Keep me posted on the day you'd love to come. And that was how Ehis landed in Lagos Ehis was Aunty Laura's nephew and spent a couple of holidays as a child with her family and kids so it wasn't much of an issu

Do Better.

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Today marks a new week Which brings us new encounters Every encounter or experience we have provides us with two lessons - The negatives or mistakes we should learn never to repeat if we want to avoid those same experiences, or -The positives, which teaches us new ways to get better results Don't just go through the usual motion of your weekly routine This time go about your week consciously Things don't just happen without deliberate efforts to make them better or avoid pitfalls Sometimes these experiences do not necessarily have to be personal We could watch and glean from the experiences of those around us Whatever the case, make this week count by doing things better, more refined,  strive for the best Strive for excellence Go out today and bring that spark to what you do

Wild Wild Mad!!!

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Meeeeennnnnn the D.J was killing it Last Saturday of the month I was feeling vibe on vibe Nobody could quench this fire Everything lit See jams See Babes See shayo Plus my guys It was mad fun With no holds barred Besides it was the weekend Work hard, ball hard I had been chasing I.J for such a long time ehhhhh Finally it just seemed everything fell in place She not only said yes to my lines The Babe was right here partying hard with me Before the night was over I saw, I touched and tasted of the forbidden fruit The weekend couldn't get any better than this 3am my guys and I had to fall out Wild wild mad And the minute my head hit the bed I crashed Then I saw her Small fruit wey I taste I.J don dey pursue me for dream oh The girl legit say na my destiny she won collect I woke up with a start Dripping with sweat It was past 6am There was no point waiting Rushed to the bathroom, didn't even feel anything as the cold water hit me By 30minutes I was already by the bus st

Bedmatics of a young parent

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Spice things up Don't let the fire go cold  After reading aspire to acquire I decided to swing into action And with the cold weather it was the perfect timing Dim lights Scented candles Celine Dion on the background Warm bubble bath Wine chilling in a bucket Tonight is the night This time was definitely not gonna be business as usual Thanks to Google I got some cuffs and whips as well as cool blindfolds Today fifty shades of grey crew will learn from us From the way hubby was grinning from ear to ear, I knew I had done my homework more than right I could literally hear him say ' I'll give you whatever you want Baby' After all the shenanigans We were just getting into the business of the day when we heard the little madam banging the door "Daddy open the door, Daddy carry me Daddy open the door, Daaaadddyyyyy' To think I tucked them into bed early? Well, I aspired but the acquired eluded me When these kids get involved, the rules of the game complete

Karashika resurrection

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So it has become a recent trend for people to be finding snakes in their toilet Well, as a smart guy it was only natural for me to also join in the preventive trend of putting fuel and salt in the W/C to give myself peace of mind Coupled with the fact that I never allow any thing unkept in and around my house I was sure I had no cause for alarm until  last night I had dragged myself to pee and then just decided to do number 2 It was supposed to be a quick one but with my sleep beat up body, I was basically chilling in the toilet It was such a pleasurable experience but in the middle of this near heavenly moment I started feeling cool breeze ffffuuuuuuuuu ffffuuuuuuuuu ffffuuuuuuuuu and a thought of touch Hehehe, I couldn't be! My eyes snapped open instantly like a halogen lamp No sudden movement was the key Sweat started dripping all over me, enough to wash my sins away With all the precautions I took, this definitely was not ordinary I silently said a prayer to my make

The one with the golden pass

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Five kids and my mother chose to cling to our last born like the rest of us didn't exist He could do no wrong He was her baby To cement her unwavering love, we, the adopted four sometimes got spanked for his mistakes El was a terror to us He got the biggest piece of meat The biggest portion of food The least work And a free pass to nap all day God bless you if you offend or flog him  He'd pretend not to care but the minute he hears the sound of our Dad's car, this young terror will start rolling on the floor, crying and screaming You already can guess what the fate of the rest of us would be Ohhhhh there was a bright side El was a double edged sword We could use him to collect whatever we wanted from our parents, especially Mum One of those beautiful days, Mum made soup and we all didn't want to eat swallow so we sent our ambassador to Mum El: Mummy I'm hungry Mum: Why haven't you eaten? I made soup long ago. Go and tell your sister to give you food

Them go deny

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Thank God say man no be God oh  If not we for don chop sand Thank God say e no dey man hand to determine wetin our star for be cos dem for don even move the whole star Thank God wey dey always show up when matter critical Thank God wey no dey leave us hopeless As e carry our matter for head Na so one madam go collect Angela for village Promise papa and mama say e go train her 2years later them never even mention school talk more of to measure uniform for Angela Na so somebody daughter dey hawk from street to market ontop hunger and torture Third year na so motor jam Angela for the Hawking Aunty go tell village people say Angela run follow man come leave letter for house As God wey Sabi wipe person suffer comot, na so the people wey jam Angela na Ambassadors wey come Nigeria. Na so dem carry am, treat am and begin train am 15 years later, she land village for her papa compound Na so papa and mama faint Dem no recognize their pikin again For all the people wey wish you bad Fo

My love don't cost a thing

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Think you gotta keep me iced (You don't) Think I'm gonna spend your cash (I won't) Even if you were broke My love don't cost a thing Think I wanna drive your Benz (I don't) If I wanna floss I got my own Even if you were broke My love don't cost a thing                                     Jennifer Lopez It was a very busy period for me My job at present had me doing alot of traveling Fortunately and unfortunately one of such trips fell around our wedding anniversary I did my best to make the day memorable for Bae From an early morning text To serenading her with my amazing singing I didn't want her to feel my absence on that day so I found a way to always stay in communication with her I did good! Or so I thought Two days after I was back home Business as usual But I kept noticing some funny acts from Bae And the 'Nothing'  answer was what I got whenever I asked her what was wrong By the fourth day of my return I received the gift I had or

Funny man: Honesty

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Nwam bia! ( My child come) The elderly woman beckoned on me as she smiled I took a look at her and her wares all spread out with no patronage  Fortunately I needed the vegetables she sold for my meal that night So I requested for some We got talking and I was quite happy meeting someone from my tribe this f araway from home A call came into my phone and while I juggled opening my bag for my phone, I caught this woman quickly mix my fresh vegetables with old bstones To say I was heartbroken  would be an understatement  We were practically laughing one minute and the next she was trying to  cheat me I left her stall under the guise of buying some other things and never returned Honesty is a very important life key It should never be far from you Let everyone know you for what you stand for Let your yes be your yes  And your no, be No Be deliberate about it  You'd definitely reap your reward

One chance

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If you had a single shot at making a remarkable impression, what will you do? Give your best I guess That's what life gives us We've been given one lifetime One shot at making an impact One shot at living our best lives One shot at leaving our footprints in the sands of time One shot at setting the pace One shot at being all that we ought to be Why not enjoy it? Live to the fullest Travel, see the world Make friends Open up and bless the world with the once in a lifetime treasure called you People come People go  But there can never be another you Let the world enjoy the gift of having you Let yourself enjoy the goodness life has to offer You've got one chance Make it count!

Tick says the clock, tick tick.

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Procrastination is the crown Prince of all thieves Little by little, it's ugly hands chips away your time, resources, energy, creativity and ultimately, your life My Mum always told us a story about her father My maternal grandfather was a very wealthy man who dealt in yam farming as well as sales of dried fish They grew up in a regular house, 9 children with both parents sharing a three room apartment He'd always promise my maternal grandmother and the kids a bigger and befitting house. Whenever the issue was raised, he'd promise to commence the building project upon his next sales Yet, something always came up to hinder him from doing so Few years down the line, he died and not even a single block was laid as foundation for the new house he ever so often promised Do not put off what ought to do be done today for tomorrow because tomorrow never comes

Happy International Men's Day

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Men are scum? Nah, you haven't met a real man Men give life Men protect Men provide A true man would give his life for his family Many have done so literally Many do it daily in the sacrifices they make Men are irreplaceable See how much a father's love can propel him to do anything to see his family smile? See how protective and caring brothers are? See how loving and giving husbands are? A man is a priceless treasure Today we celebrate you For your labour of love For your sacrifices For being true and sticking with us We celebrate you for selflessly giving of yourself We celebrate you doing your best in shielding us from the harshness of life We do not take all you do for granted And with you by our side, everything becomes easier and better To the dead beat Dads To the men who have done nothing but stay absent  To the men who have brought nothing but  cause pain Fortunately today happens to be international toilet day That's what we wish you And to the real m

Chioma the righteous

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What is going on here!!! As a sheltered pastor's kid I couldn't believe my eyes The university scenerie knocked me hard Male and female students mingling so freely Those with their beer Ladies walking around in trousers!!! The university lifestyle came as a rude shock I was definitely sure the world would end before my first semester was over And like the Biblical Jonah The righteousness in me couldn't stomach the things I was seeing My God My God Rain down fire from above Suffice it to say by the time I was through my 5 years law program I had gone through my own circle From criticizing, to wanting to be among and finally making my own resolve of who I wanted to be I had my fair share of making mistakes but thankfully the good morals from home helped me stay rooted while my experience in school opened  my closed up mind to be more acceptable of people This is not to make excuses for bad behaviours or living without principles Neither does it advocate support fo

How Nancy got her man

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'Please can you buy me corn, even  if it's just one. I really want to eat corn' said the Mr Hubby and I were on our customary evening stroll  when we walked into the above scene   It was nothing out of the ordinary A young man was asking a lady who was in company of her friend to buy him corn Oh, of course she was beautiful and obviously knew it, going by the way she shunned the young man, treating him like dirt 'Don't you have your own money? Abeg don't disturb me, I just came here to buy corn in peace' she responded while giving him angry glares mixed with the look of disdain Her friend kept nudging her to be nicer or stop the rudeness but she fired on with her tongue. Out of kindness or in a bid to pacify the young man, the friend of the lady bought him the corn, asking him to overlook her friends behaviour, apologizing on her behalf And just like a movie scene, the young man turned around without saying a word, walked few metres from the corn

Bleeding ❤️

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Where did we get it wrong? When did we cross the line of humanity? Choosing routines like the pharisees and killing that which makes us humane  Where indeed does our patriotism lie? With the letters or with love for lives that chose you to serve them? Bandits roam free, making senseless demands, displacing and killing families But the military were deployed in their numbers against innocent lives for demanding better on a peaceful protest ground Killed for the change they believed in by those who they entrusted with their lives How do you explain shooting people who sat down holding hands and singing the national anthem? You loaded your rifle And shot point blank at somebody's son, father, husband, sister, mother, daughter One year and a month later The investigative panel indicts the military for using live ammunition on peaceful protesters  An act our supposed elected caregivers vehemently denied WHO GAVE THE ORDERS? Now, what next? #ourheartsbleed #endpolicebrutality

Crack on the wall

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The ovation was defeaning  Ray stood on the podium, award in hand, tears in his eyes as he reminisced on how he got there It was a cold day in October when his father packed up and never looked back 6years after he turned the big 17 and gained admission into college His joy was short-lived as his Mama passed away same year How else could one define bad luck thought Ray No help No family He became everything From a bricklayer to a security guard Slept in classrooms, slept on couches and parks Blood, sweat and tears Graduated with a resounding grade But still, nothing Took up the job as a cleaner in a mall And as he mopped the floor and sang his heart out Little did he know that a music legend was using the restroom, who stood transfixed to the spot listening to the soulful melody of his voice That day marked his big break We've all been through crazy times Some so overwhelming you just believe it's over And then God provides that crack on the wall A tiny whinny littl

Sunday Rice

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The anticipation with which we looked forward to Sunday afternoons! This tray right here symbolised everything good to us. You see, back in my growing days as a child, rice was treated as a sacred meal It was eaten only on special occasions Sunday afternoons (if the stars aligned in our favour) and of course Christmas day (the oga kpatakpata of them all) No wonder Sunday is seen as the sacred day As kids, we were always eager to please our parents on this special day Any offence could attract the sanction of reduction in the portion of rice that would be allotted to you So we'd wake up bright and early, do all the chores with maddening speed and be set for church by the break of dawn Don't ask me if we remembered what we were taught in church Cos the thought uppermost in our minds was that beautiful stainless tray of rice decorated with stew in form of the cross that we'd all have to eat from Oh how much joy and fun it was, as well as the survival of the fittest

Vulnerable me

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Just like everyone I knew  I wanted it To love and be loved To have a family I could come back to after facing the world outside But circumstances taught me otherwise I had suffered enough deception and heartbreak to last me a lifetime I found peace when I decided love wasn't for me alright The Love Cupid seemed to have lost some people's address It was business as usual to me when I met Laura But with time I found that I had fallen in love with her With all the defences I put around my heart Love broke through And then came the fears of yesterday With love came vulnerability But I had been burnt  I sure wasn't ready for that  Heartbreaks had taught me to be tough and opening up I believed made one weak 6 years into marriage to my beautiful Laura Today I can say that you've got to open your heart for love to come in Yes, with love comes vulnerability but therein also lies your greatest strength The strength of two becoming one The strength in knowing you'

Dancing with the Bride

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As our special day drew closer So did the anticipation build higher You know how everyone looks forward to the couple's dance on wedding day as one of the high moments of the reception It's the time the money gang show up The fire dancers and hype-men The screamers  Camera men and women So you see, the dance is not just a couple's moment It's in a way a moment for everyone of the wedding guest Simply put, the dance is very important I already mapped out my strategy Wherever I went, at the sound of any form of music I'd forget all else and get in the groove as perfecting my dance steps became the agenda Oh how much I rehearsed! And then the D' day showed up DJ turned up nicely and the latest sensation was blasting It was time to give everyone the experience of a lifetime Left, right, front, back Then i gave the signature clap My people, that was the beginning of the end as I started looking for the next step My rehearsals? I did rehearse tirelessly It

Life happens

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Life is not static Change is the only thing permanent So there's no reason feeling sour when it hits you Basically, there are relationships that we never thought we'd do without Situations we thought would never change Persons we believed were bonded with us forever Then change happened Why beat yourself up? It's okay that you've outgrown some relationships or persons That doesn't necessarily make them bad people It simply means their chapter in your life's journey had probably come to an end But for the time the relationship subsisted they were what you needed Celebrate the good times Celebrate the impacts they made Celebrate what they represented  And move on Tying yourself down to a relationship whose life span has elapsed can become toxic and detrimental to both parties So cherish what was, lovingly and thankfully Go into what is with hope and open mind, trusting things to only get better. Cheers!!!

chop your money finish today

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How does one explain the logic behind the poor spending more? This brings to mind an experience I had In my university days.  I had this classmate turned neighbour Since we lived next to each other, we practically went to school and returned together most of the time She always had something to say about my dressing Always asking about prices and where I got my clothes Never knew she was waging a silent competition until one day when she she called me over to her room to see the new outfits she got 'As you dey always kill us with your dressing I say make I do small shopping too. See the things I got' she said when i got to her room They were a handful of nice shiffon tops and then she told me the price leaving me in shock. #60,000 for less than 10 tops? In 2011? That was a whole lot of money to me as a student Meanwhile yours truly all through my university days shopped with OK presently termed thrifts We spend the little we have or what we don't even have, tryi

who run the world?

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                             Who run the world?                                     Girls!                                     Girls!!                                                    Beyonce. As a young man, this wasn't even a question that was up for debate I was single, I mingled, freely, with the world at my feet I decided what, how, where and when I wanted things done Ohhhhhhh, it was indeed a fine time And then she came along We walked down the isle And said the solemn vows How could I have known that i was making a trade? Everything had to be accounted for, including my own time A full fledged man like me It was only the beginning Shocked? Wait for it This only gets better! Four years down the line.... Daddddddyyyyyy sit down Daddy on cartoon I want golden morn Daddy keep your book Daddy no sleeping, wake up And someone says 'we are the head of the house?' I think of the reverence and respect I command but right here there's a 2years old little lady

No guarantees!!!

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Life has no  guarantees Take chances Make the best of every opportunity Never give up Never give in Give today your best Give the world your best Gift yourself your best Walk out that door with your head held high Shoulders up Chest out Beat your chest with pride knowing you've got everything it takes to win today Life has no guarantees Give a little love Give a little laughter Don't let the winds dampen your high spirits Today might be all we got Life truly has no guarantees But when the curtains of the cloud turns to night We'd be singing merry songs Knowing we lived our best lives in the purest forms of who we really are Leaving imprints of greatness in our trail on our way home Life may not have the guarantee of tomorrow But we'll rock every chance we are gifted as the sunshine that we are

what you give, what you get.

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The gifts were overwhelming, leaving him at a loss for words Not to mention the endless calls and messages Everyone trying to outdo the other. No, it wasn't magic of any sort Emmy had always been caring and selfless  So it didn't come as a surprise when there was such a turn out in his time of need. Meanwhile downtown, Harriet was scrolling through her contact list for the 5th time She was totally down on her luck at the moment and had made several calls already in tears but they all turned out negative Many people had suffered hurtful experiences from her So none showed up or wanted to have her around Give and it will come back to you The measure with which you give is what you'd receive and even more Give love Give life Give hope Smile Show up  Sometimes it's not the money but the presence Make conscious efforts to be the reason for another person's smile These are seeds that will come back to us someday Sow good seeds!!!

Lagos Building Collapse: The True Nigerian Picture

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It is absurd to imagine the carnage that we have to deal with every day for the mere fact that we are Nigerians. So a building which was originally approved to carry 15 floors was built up to 21 floors. It was magically allowed to stand. With this collapse, one begins to imagine where the rot starts from. How deep seated is the greed and corruption that would allow such happen without been checked? I was elated to see another survivor emerge from the building on friday, 5th November, days after the collapse, just as soon as one was hit with the heart-wrenching report that the 36th dead was removed. From the foregoing,  the events depict a true Nigerian picture where each survivor has to emerge by his or her own sheer will, because one can no longer have even a glimmer of hope that the system will defy all odds to come to your rescue. In another crime, a building of that size would be designed with materials that can carry the weight and withstand the tensile strength amongs

The Brawling Barbie

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Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.                                       Prob 25:24(BSB) 'Shameless man It's almost 2 month since I loaned you 100k and you have failed to return my money Don't try me oh Don't just try me I'm not all those women you can March on anyhow I will show you this night Better return my money Today today' Our neighbour Mummy Dave's voice rang loud and clear into the night She kept hurling unprintable names at her husband To say I was shocked was putting it mildly As a new person in the compound, given that hubby and I just got married, the night's event was shocking to me so I tried persuading hubby to go intervene Only to be informed that this was a normal occurrence and anyone who tried intervening was also put into her line of fire. Mummy Dave was a very beautiful Nurse Light skinned, tall but her tongue was a killer Three days after that incident Mummy D frantical

Shut it down, turn it up!

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Words are powerful Words are everything Words can build up or tear down the mighty Words can make or mare Words can give life Words can also kill The words you continuously and consistently feed your soul are big determinant factors to how your mind is shaped and the end product of what your actions become Your mind is the field  Trapping everything you sow on it and ultimately produces countless fruits  What then do you sow? Negatives  Or  Positives? What do you tell yourself before heading out every morning? What are the kind of conversations you surround yourself with? What are the kind of words you listen to? No matter how smart, intelligent, nice, beautiful, talented or skilled you may be, if you surround yourself with people who tell you the opposite, or you tell yourself that you're not that good enough, that's what your mind would  program in and give out Be your own hype-man Tell yourself everyday I am the positive the world is waiting for I'm loving I&

See me, see God oh. what can I say?

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See me see blessings oh!!! Hubby has been hiding under the guise of work to avoid doing the laundry He was in charge of it last week but let the clothes pile up with one excuse or the other In my bid to get him to do it I brought up the talk about it last night  He tried brushing it off and asked me to do the laundry as it was just a handful of clothes and besides he was very busy Hmmmmmm my warrior brain went on overdrive This man wants to kill me After spending my day chasing two hyper-active toddlers, he's coming to add to my list of chores? I marked it in my mental register and all through the night if he asked me for anything, I'd tell him I was busy thinking of ways to do the laundry Well, my come back got him sulking and he started giving me a sprinkle of 'not talking to you' till he left for work My people, I came to share good news with you I decided to do the laundry and while going through his clothes I found urgent 10k God of miracle who knows ho

On bended knees

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        Oh what peace we often forfeit         Oh what needless pains we bear         All because we do not carry          Everything to God in prayer Whether we choose to believe it or not, there's a higher power One that we can always run to When the chips are down When we've made a mess When we've weaved that intricate web of crazy we can't seem to figure out When the journey becomes tough and labourous  When you've dealt your last card and there's nothing Remember there's a higher power Lonely Tired Frustrated Exhausted In your waiting In your dark times And the good  In your abundance Or lack Sickness And in health Never forget to call on the higher power

I solemnly swear

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I sat at the table perplexed. Looking around the calibre of people I sat with and I wondered how swift things can change in life. Just yesterday,  I was a common cab driver and today, I'm here, sitting with the Chief of staff to the President and Commander in Chief of the armed forces and discussing the future of my people. However, it was less about the incident of the day that dominated my mind, but the events that led to that day. i had just started my cab business when a receptionist called me up to pick a guest.  She emphatically told me to "bill him large, he is very wealthy" However, I took a personal decision many years ago to always deal with people sincerely. So I gave him the services he requested and billed him the actual amount. This caught his interest and he asked for my number and he continued coming back for my services. Ohhhh of course I was labeled a fool for not maximizing the opportunity to exploit him. That was how our relationship starte