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Showing posts from January, 2022

You dey hide things; only you no fit do convoy!

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We fight We struggle We quickly shut the doors when we hear another's footsteps under the guise of           ' If him see where I dey butter my                     bread e fit tif am' So many doors of opportunities have been sat on 'just because' So many privileges denied 'just because' This brings to mind Mr A who called hubby out of the blue for an interview in his office with a little less than two days notice Hubby had tried severally to reach Mr A for this job opportunity but he'd always been evasive citing one excuse or the other until hubby chose to forget it After the interview hubby found out the truth about Mr A's call All the while, he'd Intentionally chosen not to give hubby the chance knowing he was very qualified for the job and in his words            ' With the Qualification you have in                less than 6 months if we get you                    employed here, you'd be chosen                      above m

Why are you wearing my Daddy's shoe?

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Service today was a bang Had a swell time From the worship to the word, there was no dull moment  I especially had a good time cos hubby just got back from a trip and bought me a lovely black dress and very cute clothes for the kids which we all rocked to church And to mark the last sunday of the month I gave my best dance I rarely take pictures but today I looked exceptionally sweet if I do say so myself  Therefore I decided to take some pictures like alot of people do after servce  Wanted to capture the moment  A few shots here and there Compliments and hugs Then off hubby went to pick the kids from their section in church so they could join in the pictures  'Mummy D turn to the side and strike a pose moving your hips' the lady who was taking the pics said as she tried to get me to take a different position for her to capture  And there we were in the middle of the shot with so many others taking and having their pictures taken as well when I heard my kids run up

The day I wore her g-string in the bank

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                                              Anonymous  The day started like every normal day for parents with toddlers. My wife and I woke up by 5am, started the routine, got the kids bathed and fed and then off to other domestic duties. amidst the contrasting duties, I recalled I had a  transaction that would require me enter the banking hall so I quickly grabbed the one I used the previous day and tucked it into my pocket. After dropping the kids off at school I roamed the town to kill time till it turned 8am then i walked into the banking hall. As expected,  there was a gathering crowd of early risers who needed to complete a banking transaction. I looked at their faces and waited till it got to my turn. Many of us dont really use the masks except to enter places where people are barred from entering without masks. So imagine the boldness when I dipped my hands in the pockets of my Jeans and brought out what should be my face mask and without looking tried to fix it. i

Pride goes before a fall

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I volunteered to make the meal for the day  After our first Home Economic class I thought I was ready to take over the kitchen with my wonder cooking skills. Rice and stew? The meal was an easy one or so I thought. The mission was simple; give them an  unforgettable experience;Ohhhh I sure did. And so the cooking began Of course you put water on fire, add rice allow to parboil, rinse and put it back on fire for the final cooking I successfully made rice pudding  The stew, I put the blended tomato on fire, added oil, water, maggi, salt and kept wondering what was taking it so long to come out as my mum's  Did I ask for help? No ohhhh, I kept at it Maybe a little more spicing and seasoning would do the trick  Hahahahahahahahahahahaha village people were having a field day watching me from the mirror and having a good laugh The best course of action would've been to eat the humble pie after all my bragging and ask for help right? But nooooo Chi didn't  I thought it

OLE! OLE!! OLE!!!

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Chants of ole, ole, ole rent the air until the house mistress intervened, dispersing the crowd of students and taking away a tearful, frightened and sorely humiliated Jess away  Ohhhhhhhhh it was 2005, and a group of 3 High school girls had decided they'd teach the ever smiling Jess a lesson.  'She thinks she can get everyone to eat out of her palm? Best this, Best that, always chosen to represent the school and now I hear they want to make her the Head girl? said Amaka with so much bitterness  'Not on my watch oh. I'm sure her father must've given the Principal a heavy amount of money that's why. I've worked so hard for that position and I won't let her take it' Trisha interjected  Tracy simply nodded her consent. Few hours later Trisha accused Jess of theft and no matter how much Jess tried to explain herself,  Trisha only screamed louder till she attracted the attention of other students. The incident cost Jess her proposed position as

Helpers!

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'I will show you something today' Joyce screamed  I wondered what was going on as I knocked on the door  She opened up, letting me in as she began explaining upon my enquiry  'Chi, this is the 5th plate Felicia is breaking in two days. She's definitely doing this intentionally because I told her I don't want to see any dirty dish in the kitchen sink again for no reason' After a lengthy bombardment of harsh words she finally let the poor girl go from where she knelt down This incident took me down memory lane. Shouting, jubilation, tears and more rent the air as my traditional marriage celebration was winding down and I was escorted to the car with hubby And then a little girl was presented to hubby and I. According to the women, the child was to go live with us and they began giving us a rundown of how to treat her, what to feed her, her likes and dislikes... Husband house wey I never even enter I won carry person join body already? Of course we didn

Death by Google

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Something must kill a man right? But I never envisage that this was how I'd leave this sinful world How could I possibly be ridden with all these diseases at the young age of 27? I had been having cough for some time, it seemed quite persistent after taking all the prescribed syrup from the pharmacy  I decided to try alternative treatments,  some suggested ginger and lemon hot water, honey, lemon grass.... so many teas and this evil cough persisted  One of those lovely evenings after taking my lemon tea with no luck I thought to try the ever handy all knowing medical consultant, GOOGLE. Biggest mistake ever! It most likely seemed Google was mad at someone the day I chose to consult her hence I became the object of her anger because how else can one explain this? I simply typed in causes of cough and treatment. Hmmmmmmm and there began my worst nightmare. Google stated cough as an underlying  symptom for several diseases from  lung cancer, heart failure, chronic obstruct

Silently but ticking

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Rome, they say, was not built in a day. Been around farmers, you'd observe planting goes through different stages up till the time of harvest.  A seed is not just put in the ground and left that way until harvest. No, you plant, water, weed as many times as possible, add manure... You keep going through that cycle until harvest. The same is applicable to the seeds of our goals and aspirations. Be it short or long term, they require nurturing and time. Yesterday Bola made posts about his recently this and that. Jason bought his third car. Marvelous moved into a bigger house. You've been trekking, or using the same car for as long as forever, still living in the one room apartment, all because you're making investments to improve yourself and your chances of tomorrow.  Don't be Intimidated by what you're seeing or hearing. Let that seed in you grow, do not rush it, give it everything  you've got and left the results for all the talking. It doesn't

Hassles of a Naija traveler (1)

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I had left the house very early,  before sunrise so I can make it to Ibadan as early as I can. As usual, the car got filled by passengers like me who wanted to arrive their destination early. I would have known there was trouble with the way the driver sped off the park, when we screamed,  he calmly told us to "calm down" because he was fully in charge. It was however not a surprise when he brought out a bottle of half-empty dry gin and took a large gulp for a sip. This wasn't the first time a Nigerian driver will drink while on the steering with a bus full of passengers.  We hadn't driven for up to an hour when we got to a police post.  "Clear!" The policeman bellowed and lifted his gun menacingly.  "oga calm down" our driver retorted unperturbed "na we get this road" He said asserting dominance.  That was when it happened,  one of the policemen came and put his hand through the windscreen by the driver's door and brought

Sister Chioma!

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Sister Choma, please let's see after service                                            Bro Lucky Bro Lucky was the prayer coordinator,  a genuine Christian, a very dedicated worker in church and he never missed any program. Three hours later I was sitting across Bro Lucky at a corner of the church auditorium consequent of his earlier note.  Sister Chioma I wanted to see you for something very important the Lord has been laying in my heart but before we continue let us pray ' Father Lord, we invite you into our midst. Almighty  God take control. You know how much this has been a burden, as we discuss take charge. Let your spirit lead us....' This matter must be a serious one I reasoned. 'Sister Chioma I wanted to see you because God has been ministering to me lately and it has become a heavy burden I can't keep it inside anymore so I said let me tell you and as you listen I pray God will touch your heart because I've been praying about this..'  &

My super-chef Wife

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Arrrrrhhhhhhh, one spoon in and i knew i was in deep shit. How do you tell your wife her meal is a little short of life threatening? It was like a volcano erupted and the hot larvae was flowing straight to my intestines  What have I done this time? Or better still why is she mad right now ? Don't get me wrong, my wife is one hell of an amazing cook and her meals will leave you begging for more The exceptional circumstances however include days like today when it seems somebody is wearing my wife's body and cooking Days like these when she makes meals in ways the world would be shocked at. A very great cook she is but as a matter of survival,  DO NOT LET MY WIFE COOK WHEN SHE'S VEXED! It takes just one spoon from her cooking to know that all is not well So here I was eating and wondering what in the world was wrong as well as plan my escape strategy. 'Baby, I'm not really hungry, I'm pretty exhausted from work and more of sleepy than hungry' I gav

Mirror mirror on the wall

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Mum came visiting last month and spent some days with us It sure was a fun time but by the time she was leaving,  my daughter had picked up something from her. You see, Mum loved having tea and bread every morning or better still, every chance she gets and most of all, she loved dunking her bread My daughter always joined Mum in her tea ritual such that by the time she left, my daughter had taken up the dunking and tea habit My son always loved to shower with his father. No matter how many times he's had his bath in a day, once his Dad returns home for the day, they must shower together.  Hubby has a particular way he likes to towel his body after bathing  Of course, my son has naturally picked up toweling himself same way Most times as parents we get caught up in the web of what we have going for us, from one project or activity to the other, leaving instructions on how we expect our kids to do or how we want them to behave However, kids are more of followers of the ex

Take a chill; think twice.

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Deals, offers, proposals are common words tossed around and at us so often that we might've lost count  There's an exhilarating feeling one gets when an offer is made our way Sometimes we wonder 'Are you sure they're talking to me? Is this for real?' It's a beautiful thing in the sense that who we are or what we do is being recognized and wanted.  Nobody makes an offer for something that's got no value However, it's said that if it sounds too good to be true,  then it probably is. Hence we should be cautious when we are faced with such deals. There's a concept that's not said so often... it's the power of the subconscious mind Have you had a bad feeling about a person or a deal and after a long term it turns out that your supposed feelings which you had without a cause turned out to be real? That was your subconscious mind trying to protect you from an impending danger.  Hence, when next you are faced with such deals that are too

Benefits of the Eastern sit at home

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The East has been observing sit-at-home every monday in supposed protest to the government of the day. This has been on-going since last year. An at present, a three days sit-at-home is current on going which brings the question the rationale behind it. One cannot help but wonder if it is well thought out, that the region should pause all economic activities every Monday and for some days at a stretch in a bid to pass a message to  a man far away who is neither gives attention to  nor is affected by the supposed protests.  I think about the artisans amongst other petty traders who as a rule must do either one job or another or a trade every day before they can be guaranteed a meal, and I wonder how that will send any message whatsoever.  For today and tomorrow,  we will sit at home and bemoan our fate, taking into consideration that the order is most often obeyed due to fear rather than patriotism to the cause for which the order is constantly declared. Funny enough,  there

The blessings of gratitude

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The encomium didn't stop On and on and on she went  From showering him with praises to kneeling down And then she began to sing and dance Ohhhhhhhh by this time my father's pockets were literally empty He gifted my mum with something and as is her culture she went on an endless display of her gratitude  If you've met my mother you'd know her for how she shows gratitude for things no matter how little. I grew up knowing her that way and have done my best in emulating this culture A little show of gratitude can open doors that we might ordinarily wouldn't have had access to or would've cost us alot to get to Gratitude never goes out of style. In fact the more gratitude we show the tendencies we have to receive more Gratitude is one sure key that works no matter who's in question. A thankful person is such a delight to be around. Thankful people are cheerful and happy people. Who wouldn't want to give to such a person? Make it a lifestyle hack t

They'd keep hating...

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Shocked! Well, haters are real  Enemies are real Dear They come in different sizes and kinds Some disguised as family, others as friends and then the plain old open enemies Nah, I don't mean critics and the likes I'm talking about those who just hate you for being you Those who for the simple fact you existence leaves them embittered  You've got to realize that not everyone can love you Not everyone will be okay with you or your way of life no matter how nice or truthful a person you might be Don't sweat over these people  Cos no matter what you do, they'd never change their perception about you No matter where you are, be attentive to your spirit; it never lies Don't change the wonderful person you are to match their hatred with revenge ; their day will surely come Most importantly, live your best life Live free, live full Live you the awesomeness called you to the max.

Shame to bad people; never be caught unawares.

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Admirer: Hello Chi please can you come downstairs  Me: For what? Any problem? I'm exhausted.  Admirer: Please I'd really love to talk with you. Can you meet me at the suya spot? Me: It's alright. See you in a bit Felix had been on my case in this University for such a long time. Professing his love every chance he got but sadly the feeling wasn't mutual. I tried my best to be his friend which was why I even considered this call.  I never gave him any reason to say I was leading him on as I made it clear there couldn't be any relationship between us.  As I sashayed downstairs with my friend we both pondered on what he could be wanting this time.  The suya spot was the hottest spot in the school hostel and every evening it was like a market place for students to eat and chill.  Haven been pre-informed about where he was I didn't hesitate to stash some currency notes into my Jean pocket for many reasons.  First my Dad taught me to never leave my room wi

Price tag!

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No matter how you're in love with a meal, if you had it every time and everyday you'd surely tire of it and at some point become repulsed by it. Absence  they say makes the heart grow fonder. The more a thing proves to be scarce, the greater the item increases in value, and consequently the greater the urge to own it. Scarcity increases the value of any product or service.  Scarcity drives people to action, making us act quickly for the fear of missing out on an opportunity. Scarcity increases the perceived attractiveness and value of a thing or person.  The same is applicable  to relationships. Most times when we become too available or accessible, we could easily get lost, not maintaining our own personal boundaries, neglecting our needs and putting ourselves on hold to satisfy others. At some point, take out time to be with you, improve you, care for you no matter the relationship, even in marriage.  Never let things get to the point where the value of your prese

There are many fishes in the ocean!

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Drew's voice could be heard from miles away as he yelled at Helen on the phone 'I made you, how dare you talk back at me? It seems you've forgotten your place as my secretary. I'm your Boss so, you jump when I say so. I dont care if it's Saturday,  your day off or you're I'll. I said i need that file on my table in an hour so whatever or however you'd do it get that file to me.' He didn't even give her the chance to respond as he ended the call. Helen had been a secretary for a very long time in the Oaks magna corporation. Having served Drew's father while he ran the company until his retirement, making Drew the next manager. She was largely instrumental to the successful  tenure of Mr Desmond, Drew's father as the manager. Covering up so many Conferences and projects, schedules and all, she was practically the shadow manager. As Drew ended the call Helen decided she deserved better after 20 years plus at Oaks, with so many ot

TOASTING GONE WRONG

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  Woke up this morning to hubby's voice as he serenaded me His every word was smooth and silky as it rained down endlessly on me From my head to toe, it was pure magic in letters His baritone voice spiced it all up And looking at my tall glass of chocolate awesomeness as he beautifully sang off-key those words of love sent a shiver to my body and butterflies to my belly A girl could get used to waking up this way every morning How did I get so lucky? As I listened to his passionate rendition my mind went back memory lane to when I had just graduated High school I had begun budding into this beautiful young lady and as is the norm I had countless admirers make advances left right and centre but one stood out Derrick was a cool guy living in my neighborhood He had tried on several occasions to gain my attention all to no avail as I personally detested standing on the street to talk to guys besides in our days any young lady seen that way with a guy was tagged loose. That further ceme

Check am oh!

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I had always prided myself as a good person Never wished anyone bad or tried to hurt anyone I did my best to leave be in love and peace with everyone around Help and support those I could Basically according to my count and from the attestation of those who I've had the opportunity to relate with my moral compass status was upright And then it happened I was scrolling through my Facebook account and reading posts when I came across her pictures Pre-wedding pictures to be specific We used to be close friends back in our Secondary School days, a clique of five, however we kinda just drifted apart as life happened to all of us Stumbling on her pictures brought a rollercoaster of emotions from happiness and gradually I got to jealousy, an emotion I never knew I was capable of showing especially for a friend, not to mention it's been a long long time we were in communication Somehow I caught myself in the act Why was I jealous?  She had done nothing to me but upload her

Will you marry me? Propose to me or else!

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Cinderella and all the Disney Princesses had nothing on me with regards to how I envisaged my marriage proposal would be From the surprise to the crying The bended knee, with family and friends watching, to the breathtakingly beautifully decorated venue I was lucky to be courting a man who wasn't just emotional but also as romantic as it gets We were so much in love and our feelings for each other was as clear as daylight for everyone to see My mind was therefore at peace and any unusual activity had me thinking this could probably be my surprised proposal  The fact that he even recently helped his friend plan a surprise proposal got my expectations more heightened Anyway now I thought but I was in for a shocker Introduction done and there was still no proposal in sight Ah ah, I don't get it  Stay calm maybe he's trying to find the perfect time One week to our traditional and white wedding still nothing? That's when I knew the joke was on me So I called Boo

Husband snatcher!!!

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Told you hubby had gone on a long trip to Lagos right? He called last night that he'd be returning today Ohhhhh how I've missed my Chocolate fountain You all know how the thing goes Made him a sumptuous meal Everywhere sparkling, with nice fragrance From the door he began screaming 'Where's my Baby girlllll? Sweetheart, come come come' Your girl was all smiles and blushing as I opened the door to welcome him Guess what? He looked at me, smiled and said 'Babe how far?' Bypassed me and embraced our daughter who came running to him with wide open arms 'That's my Baby girl' he exclaimed as he gave her a sound kiss on both checks Then went ahead to fist bump our son with their signature handshake Wait fessss So what am I? Who am I? Mannequin? I assumed everybody was high with excitement so I decided to be chill  It's been over 2 hours ohhhh And the gang are all sitted watching TV I walked past over and over yet no acknowledgement  It s

Mummy on strike!

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Fay: It can't be that hard na. Babysitting two adorable toddlers. Na to just on cartoon for them till you return. Sis don't worry, Uncle Fay got this covered! Hubby had gone on one of those long trips I was left with the two musketeers Screaming, running, climbing The customary crying, fighting and mediating  Then the feeding ... My kids although just two, each have their peculiar choice of food and how they want it The boy loves been fed, the girl doesn't The boy loves spicy meals, the girl doesn't The girl loves tea and bread, the boy loves to drink cereal.. On and on it goes, the list is just endless Out of the blues my younger brother called. He was coming over to spend a few days with us. Hallelujah! God of miracles! Three days alone with the kids, I was already worm out and looking for any form of assistance or better still few minutes of escape Upon his arrival I asked him to watch the kids while I go buy a few things from the market I blew kisses in

Circles

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Gerald had been working tirelessly on this project. Six months in and his proposal had been turned down four times on the grounds of one amendment, correction, additional ideas or so He walked into his friend Marks office and flung the project's documents on his table Gerald : Guy I'm officially done with this house funding project. The returned it again. This is the 5th time after I just defended it Mark: Guy calm down. You've done extensive research on this project, committed your time as well as resources to it and I believe it's a very sound project that will would not only be beneficial to the company but the community as well. Not forgetting the financial gains. What's their reason this time? Gerald: Some fresh corrections and all Mark: How about you bring it to our spot after work and Jay and I have a look at it? Gerald: Only if you insist. See you by 7pm. Two weeks later the guys were celebrating. With the help of his friends Gerald secured the

This little light of mine

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The years only begun yet a social media is going agog, From one bad or heartwrenching news to another Very little reason to smile amidst the daily struggles people are going through We must therefore be intentional about our happiness So long as it's within our control to Let's do everything we can to stay positive and happy So long as life exists, there'd be no end to challenges And everyone has his or her own individual challenges It therefore goes without saying that challenges are not new or peculiar to a set of persons The most important thing however is how we handle these challenges Our disposition when we are faced with obstacles is a major factor to scaling through them Not also forgetting to be a spring of goodness in our little corners Spread cheer Spread kindness Spread positivity Spread love "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.                           Proverbs 17:22

A cry for help!

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The Nigerian factor happened to me after my Secondary School and I was unable to secure admission into the University In order not to waste the year, I got into a pre-degree program I sought to major in Economics However I wasn't a very good mathematics student So I resorted to a plan Looked out for the very bright students in my class and made them my friends By the function of association I not only became more studious, I scaled through the pre-degree examination with ease and was subsequently given admission to my course of choice (Economics) even though I declined the admission The lesson here is, no man is an island(self-sufficient) of himself No man is a compendium or has a monopoly of every knowledge There'd be times when you may not know the answer to your challenge Sometimes you'd need to understudy someone who has been through your kind of challenge Or find a guide to help you At any point, do not be ashamed or proud to ask for help Asking for help ma

Treat me nice!

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Sorting out the calendar for the year Taking a new course You just returned from a stressful trip to the village Barely dropped your bag and it's chores chores chores Oh! Not to forget that work has resumed Sir/Ma, did you just take another Panadol extra in the room? And you still got kids to tend to Or working on some deadline already from your Boss? No go dey do pass yourself! A million and one things cramped up in your to-do list Sure this year we are intentional and would be on our toes But we need to get into the game sharp and sound in our minds and our body as well So before you pick up that file Step on your brakes Even if it's for a day, treat your body to a day of relaxation Rest your mind, your soul and spirit Take out those few hours to just close your eyes What good will it be to hit all our targets, make all the money and end on the sick bed by the end of the day because our bodies decided to shut down? You deserve that treat It may seem so little a ti

It's begun!

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The new year is finally here and by the next cock's crow we'd be 4 days gone Few hours ago we were all dancing and screaming happy new year Here is the first week of January waving us goodbye already You don't have your target for the new year set; do so ASAP You've got your target listed out, get started with the execution Time waits for no one Destiny doesn't take a break Everyone chides and laughs at those with new year resolutions not because of those resolutions in themselves but for the lack of subsequent implementation. Resolutions without actions to back it up is plain noise Some persons may be able to juggle 3-5 goals per-time While some have been unable to stay on a singular goal till they reach a conclusive end Don't envy those with multiple goals Begin somewhere, one step at a time Better to look back at the end of the year to one accomplishment than chasing a million things and finishing none The journey of a thousand miles begins with a

New year, new me

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This life I can't kee myself Allow me to flex ohhhh I can't kee myself Another sip of my very chilled soda and the ecstasy was indescribable Christmas was a swell time Mother-in-law chose to spoil us silly with food First day, I tried to beat around all the mouth watering delicacies By the second day my meal plan was out the window  Besides this opportunity comes knocking once in awhile so I chose to enjoy it to the max New year my Mum was mixing it all up and slaying in the kitchen How can you say no to Mama's cooking?. Like the good child I was raised to be I ate up everything that was brought my way Up down Up down Squats and push ups Had my bath  Took my vegetables smoothie for the day 9:15am my system couldn't take it anymore Revolting against itself In just a matter of weeks it had supposedly become a fan of mummy's pot Like a crack addict I longed for some real  good Mama's  New year resolution; Loose weight                                  Fo

Cross over by fire!

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'Silence!!! There's a man here, Kai Kai Kai I see how they tied you under an old tree in the village You are a very great and wealthy man but they tied you down Today you must be liberated by fire' Screamed the Major Papa  'Now, everybody bring out your candles!!! Guardians, bring that man on white shirt to the altar, he's the one I'm talking about' Immediately under instructions of Major Papa 7 coloured candles were lit and placed on his head as he knelt on the altar and the guardians began singing, chanting, ringing bells  The man was screaming probably from the candle wax but was told it was the evil done against him that was screaming out Hmmmmm I looked left, right Everyone's eyes were closed including Betty my neighbour who brought me to this temple,  Yours truly took to her heels oh as fast as my legs could carry me How did I get here? 2021 was a turbulent year for me. I encountered so many difficulties with loads of challenges Lost so