The Good Life

2022 indeed was a year that came in different shades. Good times, great times, sad times, bad times, desperate and helpless times, happy times... This year tested everyone including the best of us. Sitting here today and taking stock of how the year panned out. Of course we didn't all have things turning out the way we all planned but we're standing here to see the end of the year. Many didn't emake despite their best plans and efforts and their resources. How about those who were victims of circumstances? Or those who life just happened to? It's a miracle that we're alive and healthy. It's a blessing that we have been given the opportunity to say goodbye to the year that took so many but not us. As we celebrate tonight, let's not forget to count our blessings and return all the praises and honour to God who chose inspite of ourselves, to spare us and keep us. I'm glad I get to say goodbye with you to 2022. 2023 here we come!

As the loving mother that I am, I decided to make a long long family recipe for my kids. It's one that's been passed down from one generation to another. A well cherished meal, one we end up most times fighting for extra helping. So I thought it wish to make it for my kids since the mood struck me. You know those kind of days when you're extremely happy? Yeah. 'Lunch is ready!'  I announced to the kids. First was my son who came running into the dinning, took one look at the meal and frowned.. His sister who was trudging alongside didn't hesitate to ask 'Mummy, what's this? I want golden morn please. My son seconded by asking for a different meal as well. See children of these days. Who gave us the right to choose what to eat? When you should even be grateful you had what to eat in the first place? Misbehaving or provoking your parents was punishable by you being denied food at times. You had no right to make another meal asides that made for

Got home one cool evening to find the whole house lit with scented candles, lights deemed and the dining table set. I was wondering if I had walked into the wrong house when Mum came with humming a tune with several mouth watering dishes sashaying to the dining table. 'Ahhhhhhhhhhh what's going on here?' I asked She turned, looked at me and gave me a wicked wink 'So you think you're the only one who knows how to have a good time? Wooooooooowwwww! Have ever met those Mamas who never agree that they're growing old? Met those Aunties in parties that looked more glamed up than the young ones? Call some Mummy and all hell might be let loose for you oh. Some would never be caught without makeup, Some have perfected the girdle and fake bum effects, Our forever young! Well they say age is just a number oh The way packaging is going these days, you snooze, you loose oh! It's a no dulling zone for both young and old so my dear sisters the heat is on

I already planned how things would go. Things to buy and those not to buy. I even wrote crazy stuffs as well as inflated prices in the Christmas list I gave hubby so as to have extra flex money plus savings. Alas, the gods were watching and silently laughing. Well, I had to retire the money given to me na and that's how Mum, my baby girl and myself landed in the saloon to make our hair for the festive season. Hmmmmmmm, the only thing I didn't she'd in that saloon was blood. The price we were given after their services was worthy of a heart attack. I checked, cross-checked, double checked and contemplated mopping for them except I had my daughter with me. I began to wonder if the owner of the saloon was especially angry this season at some customers or just beginning apprenticeship in the kingdom of wickedness and overcharging. For every female who made her hair this season, ask them 'How market?' Everything has more than trippled in price. Things that us

Parara parara, everywhere, Mary don born ohhhhhhh Wise men dey travel up and down to abi na from East? Anyway, just know say East dey busy right now Hotels all dey on lockdown, hooking up, flexing New clothes, new people... Baby girl can't be left out na, so the minute hubby say e go take me out for couple flexing, na so yours truly fly go bring out slay gown, fix nails, lashes... To make everything balance, I dust my girdle abi na waist trainer dem dey call am now? Come knack my stiletto! Kai, Baby girl did sharp, looking stainless! 1hour into outing, I don dey see double double, I no come dey understand I no fit laugh for hubby jokes again Na only to pull wig remain Small small I don start dey see Angels dey fly around my side I even dey see white ladder sef? This kind, follow the ladder to heaven? Omor na so I start dey bind and cast Order wey hubby say make I do na so I dey look menu dey see 'To God be the glory'. I no fit breathe  again oh As I say make I c

Went online yesterday and I had to log out. The oppression no be small thing oh. This festive season everyone has been serving it hot 🔥. So, I kept seeing couples, families, with co-ordinated dressing From pyjamas to different kinds of outfits, Western and traditional, everyone looking picture perfect. Now, here's yours truly, who isn't so much of a picture person, and to make it worse, hubby's not a picture person as well. So here I am, watching picture after picture, family after family, different family concepts, ohhhhhing and awwwwwwing and at some point I began wondering if I was a mannequin. The bottom line is that every member of  your family is happy right? No go dey borrow up and down make loan apps no carry your pictures dey post all over social media.

Woke up shaking, This night, the weather was truly something else. It's been one cold day to another and it seems it's only going to get wesser oh. I wrapped myself like a Christmas offering and next thing I know I was looking for hubby's warm body to make the night perfect. Now I understood why Jesus chose to be a December baby. Cool weather, everybody shaking, Nobody will tell you to hug your partner. The night is here again oh And I'm looking at hubby like the best Christmas package ever. Even if he wants to quarrel with me this period, I'm not interested oh cos it can only be the devil trying to use cold to kill me. In Michael Jackson's voice  'I said you wanna be startin' somethin' You got to be startin' somethin' I said you wanna be startin' somethin' You got to be startin' somethin' Una goodnight oh!

So, I hear going by road from the North to the East is costing between 20k+ to 30k, 40k+ with all the insecurity, bad roads, and other hazards. How about flights? That's costing about an arm and leg as we speak, all the way down to January. Went to the market today to shop for a few things. The joke was on me. I was walking back home as though I was empty handed, yet, all money was gone. What's the cause of the crazy inflation in prices right now? Ah ah, only a J.J.C would be asking such questions. By now we all ought to be accustomed to the fact that it's December and prices of everything automatically goes up. Isn't that enough reason? Ha! So, without cause, everyone just increases the price to their goods and services and there's no problem with it or questions asked. I just want to be sure, are we celebrating the birth of Christ or we have the perfect excuse to rip each other off of our hard earned money? Some persons have traveled to their villages

I searched all over the house but my phone was nowhere to be found. Just when I was about to give up, I found my son having a field day with my phone. I've caught him severally operating it and have always wondered how he does that until one day he came to lie beside me, took my phone and calmly unlocked it.😳😳 Wondering why I was surprised? Well he was scarcely three years when he did this. By the time he was almost clocking four the kind of things he did with my phone were better imagined. Locked me out of my phone severally, downloaded games and cartoons, changed my password severally, locked me out of my bank app and a few others, always calling his Dad, Grandparents, Uncles whenever he felt like it, sending voice notes to his Dad... What's the point of having a password when it seems you're the one who is borrowing the phone? At this point I've given up oh. He'd be clocking five soon so you can imagine what he does now with the phone. Well in case

Mummy I want biscuit Mummy I want to pee Mummy what did you say Mummy give me your pen, I want to draw Mummy where's baby girl? Mummy, Mummy, Mummy... All through the service, it was from one complaint or problem solving to another. Title of the Pastor's sermon? Something something star And what did I learn? ................ silence! Today's event took me back memory lane This same child who wouldn't stop talking was once a cause for concern to those who like to carry matter on their head Took forever for him to start reciting the alphabets and then his numbers? He had very funny ways of pronouncing them; I won't forget him saying kpegbun as 7🤣🤣 Those surogate parents who were more worried than hubby and I had a million and one things to say. Well, here's the same boy today talking non-stop. Don't kill yourself worrying. Everything will happen in it's due time.

Liberty and I have always had this rivalry going on from the first day I came into school. Due to the nature of my Dad's job, we always traveled. This meant that I barely had friends and was used to the 'New girl' treatment I got everywhere we went to. It didn't therefore come as a surprise to me, walking into this new classroom in my new city and there was Liberty. She was famous as well as intelligent because she was dating one of the famous athletes in school. The spiteful attitude  became worse when by the end of the term, I took first place, displacing her ladyship. Well, Christmas was here. One of those days before, I went to the store around our house and there was Liberty trying to buy Balloon.you can move me. Next thing I know, we were competing for who would win the biggest balloon. That's how I spent money Mumsy sent me to the store to buy detergent. Let's just say Mum got me doing all the chores since I was brave enough to spend her money

I've never been a Buhari fan, but for once, I'm inclined to say he's a good man. I have been begging wifey for awhile but it's been nothing. One day, we woke up to the announcement that the government was changing our currency design. Wow! Amazing God! One week after, wifey wakes me up in the middle of the night and I'm left staring at a huge amount of cash and she goes 'Baby, I've been saving this money for awhile as a kinda emergency fund for us. With the project you have on ground and the change of currency design, I don't think there's any point keeping the money anymore'. Ohhhhhhhh how I fell in love all over again! So you see why I say Buhari is a good man? God used him to perform a miracle for me. It's also been the same throughout the country; several money hideouts have been discovered, all of a sudden naira mints are everywhere, banks are experiencing huge deposits... God help us! The conclusion of the whole matter for m

Mrs Raymond woke up to find a big cow tied in her neighbour's compound As if that was not enough, the brand new car she saw on her neighbour's status update, was park there as well. All these in the name of Christmas celebration  Be it just for show or genuine giftings, Mrs Raymond swore not to be left behind in the Christmas preparations/celebration. See, Mummy Chioma that isn't even up to her standard had a big goat tied in her yard Mrs Raymond thought. So she decided not to be out done. Mrs Raymond has always been a woman who loved to live the high and flashy life. She didn't believe in managing things because if she did, how would people know how important she was? Unfortunately for Mrs Raymond, things were no longer what it used to be as her husband just lost his job but that was in no way stopping her. Guess what? Without her husband's knowledge, she took a good amount of loan from her cooperative for the festive season expenses. Incurring more deb

Don't ever beg for food. That's how greed and covetousness starts, next thing is armed robbery and you'll be killed. Did your Mummy ever say that to you? Well, my Mummy did say that, and a whole lot more. Don't borrow. If you don't have it, forget it. You won't die. Don't pick any money you find on the road oh, that's how many people have turned to yam and fowl. Don't allow any boy to see your pant cos if they do, you will become pregnant. Don't beg or collect anything edible from anyone outside and eat. That's how many children got initiated. This rule right here is the reason for so many sleepless nights or nights inflicted with nightmares. The supporting evidence to this rule was a Mount Zion film we watched back in the day where a little boy shared puff-puff for fellow kids on the play ground and at night he began to summon them one by one by screaming 'Puff-Puff. It took several days after watching that movie before I beg

It's one of those days you question the true maternity of your kids. Really should've conducted that test from birth because from the minute they were both born, everyone knew they had arrived. You scream 'Leave that place about 42 times in 15minutes, Next is the 'Stop fighting!' Then you try spanking For a minute the girl goes quiet and you're gratef and assume the boy who won't sit still is definitely the one giving you the toughest time so you engage him in a hot chase, spank spank some more Then you suddenly remember the girl 🥵🥵🥵🥵 One look at the room and you know you're done for Your favorite lipstick had been used to write ABC on the wall Half of your powder is sitting on the floor While the other contents of your makeup purse has been spread abroad. Suddenly you sit-down to cry and wish you never had them. You remember that friend that is on her 6th IVF so you wipe your tears and thank God for them Night finally comes, you tuck the

They treat you that way because you're always available They no longer value what you carry or your person Over familiarity sets in . When will you visit? I'd love to have you now becomes It's you again? The key to staying relevant and not loosing your touch or value around people is never ever be too familiar that you become bare. Always maintain some level of mystic about your person and your business. No matter how much they seem to love and chase you now, once they believe they've seen all you're about, then there's nothing enticing anymore to sustain the interest. Not everyone can handle that level of intimacy of seeing you 100% as you are, awesomeness and flaws and still be intrigued to maintain the relationship respectfully. Therefore, choose when, where to be available to and for people. Not everyone deserves to have all of you and not everyone deserves that much of your attention. Test those around you and choose those who you can call your

'Grrrrrrrrmmmmmm Grrrrrrrrmmmmmm So Babe, after calling you to beg and explain my predicament, this is what you give me? Ordinary 5k? What will that even buy for anyone,? Jumai couldn't believe Zafai ended the call on her. Zafai called asking for a loan after listing out so many issues she had. They all sounded genuine, urgent and heartbreaking so Jumai sent Zafai money. However in Zafai's eyes, Jumai was being stingy and didn't want to help her. What Zafai didn't know was that the money Jumai sent her was her very last which was to be spent in buying some food items for her family. So many people behave like Zafai. You hear them say 'That my Uncle or Aunty is just wicked. I called her to tell of my problems only for him to say ok, I'll see what I can do. But did nothing because this money they sent me is just chicken change as far as they're concerned. Those people lending you money, help, services and more try to appreciate them. People giv

That's how Aunty Ngozi came visiting from the village.. Everytime Aunty Ngozi comes, we already know what she came for. This Aunty is a full time beggy beggy. Dad and Mum must part with some good money before she leaves our house oh. Next, Aunty Ngozi loves fooooooodddddd! To disguise, she'd always want to be in charge of the cooking until she leaves. We all know why, because she'd be the one to share the meal to everyone. Well, this beautiful Saturday, the menu for the day was spaghetti. Aunty Ngozi with her akpiri ogologo wouldn't let us make it. She didn't know how to make it, but wouldn't relinquish her position as the kitchen principality for even a second. We let her have her way and kept waiting for spaghetti and sauce to come. Hunger was slapping everybody left right and centre which was why Mum chose this very fast meal. After what seemed like an eternity, we saw something looking like Mount Everest coming out of the kitchen. The speed with

Hubby was bound to be home any minute and I promised him I'd be ready by the time he was home. We were invited for an exclusive V.I.P end of the year party. I had to look the part because kpe, who won fall hand? Made a new dress specially for this occasion, withall the glitz and glam. I had been practicing for how I'd grace the red carpet so, I couldn't afford to disappoint. Everything was well laid out on the bed, Cool music in the background, A/C on so I wouldn't break a sweat, then I got down to the main business of the day; my makeup. I was pretty excited because I had watched loads of YouTube videos on it. There was no way I'd be going to this dinner with my regular everyday makeup. Foundation, primer, concealer... Oh no Cleanser, concealer ... No no no I'm most certain the right order was cleanser, primer, foundation... There I was, going back and forth and in the midst of this chaos, my phone rang 'Baby, hope you're set? I'm almost

The praises were high So much dancing, singing and celebration filled the air  Today was the end of year thanksgiving service  Spirits were high and the music team was on fire. We couldn't help but dance dance dance in appreciation to God. All of a sudden, the choir decided to switch to our local songs Come and see how the people roared in shouting and singing. Dancing pro-max activated ohhh That's how we were digging it hot and heavy until one brother began singing some songs oh That was how the congregants began engaging in tongue twisting competition  Call: Allah mungode hallelujah Response: Do mi ktddecbuhvbzzzfffhthfsehh Abeg, Aunty and Uncle song leader, na dance and sing we come do oh no be to unknowingly confess wetin we no do. So try dey teach us the songs or sing the ones we know. T for thanks.

D wouldn't even come close to the supposed Barney with a pole. He kept running scared, almost screaming his head off. Baby girl literally clung to her Dad and refused setting foot on the ground. So our neighbour invited us for his son's birthday party. We were excited to attend. Something to take the kids out and get them to mix with their peers. In the middle of the party, we were shown the section for gifts for the kids Naturally, we joined other parents to queue up, only to get to the front and we found BARNIRE attempting to pull off a Barney on the kids. There began the kids nightmare. We had no choice but to forgo their gifts given how they were screaming and frightened. Well, my people, it's another festive period again. I'm here to appeal to event planners. Please, in planning for kids, bring them BARNEY not BARNIRE SANTA CLAUS not FATHER CHRISTMAS... If you plan to include the kids in your party this festive season, please bring the right characters

We were addressed over the mic that we'd be landing any minute now My heart rate increased, I began sweating profusely, ahhhhhh so finally finally And in 3, 2, 1 we had landed oh. Father Lord, is this it? So this is the abroad? I specifically chose the window seat so that nothing would escape me. See oyibo ohhhhh As I disembarked from the plane, straightway I started rolling on the ground thanking my Almighty for escaping Buhari. I heard one oyibo man saying 'Ma'am are you alright?' That's how I opened eyes to tell him yes, only to find myself back in my bedroom in Naija. Premium tears everywhere oh 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ohhhhhhh my spinal chest! So all the snow I saw and oyibo I was greeting, was all a dream? Just when I thought I had escaped! I started kabashing hot hot prayers Every village pipu wey no won free my destiny abroad oya 🔥 fireeeeeeee!

I doubled over with laughter. Oh Dear Lord! I laughed so hard my tummy began to hurt. Was scrolling through my wall on Facebook when I came across crazy pre-wedding pictures. A certain picture had the man locked in a cage, while the woman stood on it, dangling the key with the caption 'Captured by Love '. Another had both couple looking rough and captioned 'Drunk in love'. I just began to wonder where these couples drew their inspirations from, what we're their thought processes like while suggesting such pose for the pictures. How about the one where both couple were handcuffed to each other and they wrote 'We die here. Together forever '. Are these poses a result of a poor mindset or just jokes? Ever come across these kind of crazy pre-wedding pictures online? Then I'm pretty sure you laughed or must be laughing as hard as I did.

Hubby and I were more than excited having our kids. God blessed us with those lovely Angels even before we asked. Why wouldn't we thank him? So here we were, three years married with two kids. Reality began to set in. Joggling work, school two toddlers and running a home. I just couldn't so here we go, MSC and work were placed on hold. Since hubby and I decided we wouldn't be living with any help, one of us had to step in to hold the fort at home. Overtime, emotions began to rise. Staying at home, tending to toddlers, chores, post child birth weight gain, and more I just couldn't help feeling overwhelmed, unfulfilled, saddened and doubtful of myself at some point. I even began feeling hubby had it rosy and all put together while I bore the weight of everything and the changes in the family. The narrative that i bore the weight alone wasn't true. Took awhile but step by step, I things befan to change. I had to reorientate my mind, to appreciate myself, my

At rehearsal today, we listened to our choir director as he recounted several tales to us on how badly he was treated in his early days as a choir member. Well, now he's a choir director and unfortunately he's carrying on the cycle of viciousness. A certain Lecturer who was always calling hubby to cry and complain about how he was consistently been denied promotion finally got promoted to become a Professor. Guess what? He got into the committee in charge of promotion and was the one who made a proposal for criterias for promotion to become more stringent. Mummy Roseline always shared her story of when she was an apprentice in her Madam's tailoring shop. The woman was mean, difficult and treated people partially. Today Mummy R as she's popularly called, owns over four tailoring shops yet she has never been mean to any of her apprentice and always pushes them to get better. These stories above have one thing in common. We'll not have it smooth all of our

We all rushed into our neighbour Tina's house when we heard her help screaming as she was flogged. We all knew Tina in our neighborhood as a quiet, jovial and calm lady. She always went about her business and had no bad report with anyone. Well everything changed when she got a help. One complaint to another, one mishap to the other, not to mention the quarrels we began to hear between her and her husband. Right before our eyes, the ever cheerful Tina disappeared and was replaced by a sad, always tired young mother. Well, today, the maid was bathing their toddler son in preparation for sleep,as is the routine of their home, but when the boy wouldn't stop screaming, Tina rushed to the bathroom only to find the help bathing the young child with a steaming hot water. We have read on the news on countless occasions about people and their helps. Some families have been poisoned to death by their helps, others have children who have become maimed. On the other hand, some

'Chioma'!, My Mum screamed my name. From the sound, I knew something was up. If you have experienced being in deep sh*t with an African Mum, especially a Nigerian,then you'd understand why I was sweating profusely and suddenly started visiting the toilet. Guess what? Mum saw wraps of sweets in my bag as she was doing her routine check for our take home assignment and the likes. Mum then told me the story of a young lady who met friends while on an errand for her parents and she joined them in eating their snacks only to get home and began vomiting until she passed. Growing up our parents always gave us these kind of stories and before you know it, you would be applying the morals learnt. Our parents of old always had funny ways of doing their things and getting their message across. Remember when mothers will tell young girls 'You're of age now, if any man laughs with you or sees your pant, you'll get pregnant '. What funny tale did your parent t

Sandra watched as they kept talking, exchanging banters and trading words. 'Madam you no go talk anything?' This woman dey Waka with full Ghana must go of money. We must share from inside. Immediately Sandra knew it was those people who tricked others into bringing their money or valuables and then they'd disappear. Contentment is truly golden because so many in a bid to make quick bucks have lost all their savings. Propelled by greed, some have been duped, injured, kidnapped or even killed. Lack of contentment is the guiding principle why people keep falling for these get rich quick schemes which actually aren't real. Nothing pays better like one's hard work and consistency.

Where are you headed? That a person is moving doesn't mean he's making progress. A person might just be in motion without results. Just on a wild goose chase. To use the Google map, one must first input his destination and follow the directions it gives. How about a person inputting his destination and you kick start your car and begin turning into every given junction he feels like. Will such a one ever get to his destination? Hahaha! Not anytime soon. To make progress in life, one must first have a clear cut destination. Where are you headed? Next is direction. What are your plans/goals? How do you intend to reach your destination? What route? Without the aforementioned in place, this is why we find lots of people so so busy, actively going from one place to the other, from one activity to the next, very very busy, with so much passion and speed, without getting anywhere. It's not how far or how fast. It's better to take one's time in the right directi

Woke up to the realization that it's a new month! Many lost their lives Others, their properties And those who lost their businesses, relationships, loved ones, money, even freedom and peace of mind. Here I am I suffered no loss personally or through my family. Irrespective of the hardship and every crazy thing going on, here you are as well. 2022 has been a roller coaster year It's been one thing to another however, if you take stock, you'll genuinely find that there are so many things to be grateful for. From waking up this morning to being hale and hearthy. And the remaining part of this year will sure yield great things for us. Cheers!